More and more people tend to watch foreign movies, so the local government should encourage the development of local film industry. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #movies #government #development #film #industry

It is admitted that foreign

films

have become more popular in our society. I completely agree with the idea that the local film industry is essential for the local community and it should be developed by the local government.

To begin

with, many

people

seem to prefer to watch foreign

films

rather than local

films

, because these

films

tend to have better promotion and quality.

For example

, those

movies

invested by large foreign companies tend to be more attractive to local

people

Furthermore

, international

movies

appear to have subtitles and

translation

Fix the agreement mistake

translations

show examples

for many countries,

whereas

local

films

rarely provide different language options.

This

causes the vicious circle that local

movies

become niche and international

movies

become more popular and profitable.

As a result

, local tradition and

culture

appear to disappear gradually. From my perspective, the local government should give

support

Correct word choice

financial support

show examples

to local

movies

financially

Rephrase

apply

show examples

. First of all, local

films

not only represent a particular

culture

but

also

have the potential of promoting the unique local

culture

to a wide range of

people

, which would be an extremely useful material

Change preposition

for

show examples

cultural preservation and sometimes could serve as an introduction to foreigners.

Also

films

about local lives

are

Verb problem

make it

show examples

easy for youngsters to understand the meanings behind the

movies

and learn a great deal of knowledge in terms of local history.

This

could help young

people

form a relationship with the locale and

thus

it is beneficial to city development. In conclusion, I understand why

people

are likely to watch foreign

movies

, but it seems to me it is more helpful to develop the local film industry in order to protect the local

culture

Submitted by zyoo95 on Tue Dec 21 2021

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Introduction and Conclusion

The introduction lacks a clear thesis statement that directly addresses the topic. Ensure that the introduction clearly states your position on the extent to which the local government should encourage the development of the local film industry.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

271 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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More and more people tend to watch foreign movies, so the local government should encourage the development of local film industry. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree with that statement

Modern cultures around the world have become similar when compared to the past. What are the reasons. Is it a positive or negative development?

Studies suggest that children spend more time watching TV than they did in the past and spend less on doing active or creative things. Why do you think it is the case? What measures and methods can be used to tackle with it?

What skills do you think a person should have to be a successful parent ?