Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction.

#salary #job #satisfaction

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Nowadays, there is an opinion that passion for your

job

Use synonyms

is not as

much

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

important as a big salary. Indeed, to my

mind

Add a comma

mind,

show examples

this

Linking Words

statement is absolutely wrong.

Firstly

Linking Words

, doing what you like keeps you motivated and

therefore

Linking Words

leads to

Remove the article

apply

show examples

career growth. The researchers from

Correct article usage

the university

show examples

university

Capitalize word

University

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of California showed that

people

Use synonyms

who love their

Use synonyms

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

are tend

Change the verb form

tend

show examples

to be more productive. The main reason for

this

Linking Words

phenomenon is that

people

Use synonyms

who

are actually care

Change the verb form

actually care

show examples

about their

Use synonyms

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

will always do their tasks with joy and will have

Change the article

the

show examples

motivation to complete

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

which improves the efficiency of their work leading to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

progress in

Correct pronoun usage

their career

show examples

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

. On

other

Correct article usage

the other

show examples

hand,

people

Use synonyms

who are working only for money would not find any jubilation in their

job

Use synonyms

, which

why

Add a missing verb

is why

show examples

they will often get distracted and bored.

Subsequently

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

can lead to

Correct article usage

a lose

show examples

lose

Replace the word

loss

show examples

of efficiency and no progress in their future career.

In addition

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

who love their

job

Use synonyms

will be happy and will have better relationships with other

people

Use synonyms

. Because,

people

Use synonyms

who are working in their loved jobs will be less stressed, getting a lot of positive emotions from their jobs like the sense of fulfilment and enjoyment.

Whereas

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

who are in their occupation only for money will have

a lots

Correct the article-noun agreement

a lot

lots

show examples

of pressure from their

job

Use synonyms

, which would affect the mood of the workers, making them angry, anxious and tired all of which may affect their relationships.

For example

Linking Words

, if a man

came

Wrong verb form

comes

show examples

from a long day of unpleasant work with all of the accumulated anger, he will show

this

Linking Words

anger to

people

Use synonyms

who were waiting for him like family which can lead to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

many arguments, affecting the person’s relationships. In conclusion, I strongly agree with the fact that

job

Use synonyms

satisfaction is more important than a big salary.

That is

Linking Words

way

Correct your spelling

why

show examples

people

Use synonyms

should consider

this

Linking Words

factor as a main in choosing their jobs.

Submitted by abdullaevayt on Wed Nov 22 2023

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coherence cohesion

In the essay, while you made an attempt to structure the introduction, body, and conclusion, the structure could be strengthened with clearer transitions and a more distinct separation between points for improved readability. Focus on paragraphing with one central idea per paragraph, and utilize clear topic sentences to guide the reader through your argument.

task achievement

You made an effort to address the prompt directly, and you provided an opinion with supporting reasons. However, examples could be further detailed, and a more varied range of sentence structures could enhance the complexity of your ideas. Additionally, ensure that you fully develop each point and avoid broad generalizations without sufficient evidence.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

312 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

remuneration
financial security
motivation
luxuries
material possessions
fulfillment
work-life balance
stress levels
mental well-being
job security

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Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction.

Your opinion

Many FPTU students use their phones and laptops to play games during the English lessons. What problems does this cause? What can be done to solve this problem?

Some animal species are now completely extinct. Many people believe that we should prevent this from happening in the future. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think they have the right to use as much water as they want. Others, however, believe that the government should control the use of fresh water as it is a limited resource. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some believe the primary purpose of museums is to entertain people, while others believe their purpose is to educate. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.