IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

some people think secondary school students should learn international news as one of their subjects, while others believe that this is a waste of valuable time. Discuss both views ang give your opinion

#people #school #students #news #subjects #waste #time #ang
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News
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 is a great source of information, especially international
news
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. And some people think that secondary
school
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students
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 should learn it as
one
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 of their subjects, while other
oject
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object
 to the idea. And in my
opition
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opinion
,
i
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I
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 am both agree and disagree with
this
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 matter because of some specific reasons. There is a saying;"
Knowledge
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 is power",
therefore
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 when
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one's gather
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one gathers
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 more and more
knowledge
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, it will open more paths for it to take and many more things it can do. And it
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
if
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is
show examples
 perfect for secondary
school
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students
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 because they are at an age where they must learn as much as possible, gather as much
knowledge
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 as they can so they can utilize it in
higher
Add an article
a higher
the higher
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grade
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grades
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. And studying it at
school
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 will do just that, by learning international
news
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 at
school
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 not only
students
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 will gather more
knowledge
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 for later but they will
also
Linking Words
 get a grasp of what happening around them and can make use of whatever
chances
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changes
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 that may appear.
News
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 can be
access
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accessed
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 by pretty much anyone on the planet, especially international
news
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 because it is broadcast to the whole world to see. And that
one
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 aspect can make the entire idea of studying it at secondary
school
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uneccessary
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unnecessary
 because most
students
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 have already known about it beforehand. And studying about the
president
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presidential
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 debate that you have just watched on the TV
last
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 night can quite boring for some
students
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 or even people and it can be a big waste of
one
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's valuable time and energy. Another
problems
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problem
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 is that some of the
news
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are
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is
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 not really appropriate for children of that
ages
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age
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 to know about. Knowing about the president
debateis
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debate is
debates
 fine, but knowing about terrorism?
someone
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Did someone
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got
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get
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 assassinated? or just some car accidents can have great impacts on children of that ages which can only make things worse. After all of that, it is still unknown
to
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apply
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whether secondary
school
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students
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 should study international
news
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 as
one
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 of their subjects or not.
Therefore
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in
Add the comma(s)
,in
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 my opinion, it can
be only depend
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only depend
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 on certain circumstances should secondary
students
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 be learning international
news
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 or not because it can give bad influences if not thought carefully.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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