Nowadays, many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or an organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

These days, many
people
believe that
music
plays a crucial role in our life, which can bridge cultural gaps and differences in age. Personally, I strongly agree with
this
statement and will give my reasons below.
First
of all,
music
could be enjoyed by many
people
from every part of the world, and it can reach across cultural and bring
people
together. No matter what language we speak or understand, we love and appreciate the melody and the tone of
music
Add an article
the music
show examples
. The best thing is that
people
from different
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
of global could gather together and
listen
Add the preposition
tolisten
show examples
the same
music
deeply.
For instance
, some viral
music
, which is written in foreign languages, is famous for not only its melody but
also
its lyrics. And the most popular K-Pop boy group nowadays can be an excellent example for
this
topic,
that is
BTS. Their
music
touches to audience’s hearts and their talents are undeniable. With many meaningful songs and stories, BTS has succeeded in giving messages to all
people
around the world through their global campaign called “Love Myself”.
Furthermore
,
music
also
has the ability to connect
people
from different generations. In spite of age, we can all enjoy a memorable melody, a soft rhythm or a lovely singing voice, and the beautiful songs seem to have many magical impacts on all of us.
Music
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
not differentiate ages. We can listen to many kinds of
music
that interest us, nobody can interfere
it
Change preposition
with it
show examples
. In conclusion,
music
is an art form
that is
enjoyed by all, it
also
could make our lives more vividly and beautifully, connect us together, regardless of our backgrounds, culture or age
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employment
  • freelancing
  • entrepreneurship
  • autonomy
  • financial stability
  • work-life balance
  • financial insecurity
  • lack of support
  • resources
  • long working hours
  • uncertain income
  • job security
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