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Writing Samples /
Band 4

international sporting events are costly and bring problems to the hosting country. To what extent do you agree or disagree? give specific example.

#events #country
sports
are played
Wrong verb form
play
show examples
 a quintessential role in individual life. Despite benefits, international sporting
events
 create certain complications
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the host countries to a great extent. I partly concur with
this
 given statement. There are manifold reasons associated with the given notion why I agree. To commence with, organizing international sporting
events
 is not a cup of tea for a
third world
Add a hyphen
third-world
show examples
 nation but International visitors
also
 come to the hosting
country
for watching
Change preposition
to watch
show examples
 matches.
Therefore
, the protection of the masses is a huge responsibility for
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 to protect them from any terrorist activities. Because international
events
 are always targeted by terrorists. What is more, these
sort
Fix the agreement mistake
sorts
show examples
 of
events
 are donating
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
,
for instance
,
to construct
Change the verb form
constructing
show examples
 stadia
is required
Wrong verb form
requires
show examples
 both land and a hefty amount of
money
, and the incipient nation is already
faced
Wrong verb form
facing
show examples
 numerous dilemmas namely providing good education, up-to-mark health services to their citizens, and during
this
 ,construction agriculture land diminish.
At
Wrong verb form
Lastly
show examples
last
,
certain
Change preposition
at certain
show examples
 times terrorist activities
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
either
broken
Wrong verb form
break
show examples
 harmony or cause
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
threat. Because sometimes it is harmful to players. Accommodation of players and their security is very expensive
however
 developing
countries
Change noun form
countries'
country's
show examples
 defence teams are not occupied with modern equipment.
conversely
 a certain extent I discord too. To
initiate
Verb problem
start
show examples
 with,
due to
 international sports
events
 The natives of
hosting
Add an article
the hosting
show examples
country
 are
grown
Wrong verb form
growing
show examples
 their business, To demonstrate, when tourists
are visited
Wrong verb form
visit
show examples
over
Change preposition
apply
show examples
there, they
have spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
money
 on, clothes and other traditional things
along with
this
may be
Correct your spelling
maybe
show examples
 they can invest handsome
money
 in
hosting
Correct article usage
the hosting
show examples
country
 which can be fruitful for economical growth. In spite
of
Correct pronoun usage
of this
show examples
, These sorts of
events
 are kindle interest in
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 generation for the game because they glued
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 electronic gizmos, The sports are broken
monotony
Add an article
the monotony
show examples
 of folks.
To sum up
,
although
 international sporting
events
 a required huge amount of
money
,
however
along with
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
events
 are beneficial for the host
country
.
Submitted by rehaljas662 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay exhibits some lack of coherence and cohesion due to disorganized structure and awkward transitions. Improving the logical flow of your ideas and using cohesive devices will significantly enhance your essay's readability and clarity.
task response
Your essay addresses the prompt to some extent, presenting a mixed view. However, the arguments lack depth and are not fully developed. Ensure that you fully support your ideas with specific examples and consider opposing arguments for a more comprehensive response.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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