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Band 6.5

some people think that adverts control what we purchase, while others think they are useful sources of information on products. discuss both sides and give opinion?

#people #adverts #control #purchase #sources #information #products
Advertising, whether in print or digital form, often provides valuable information about products,
such
 as new innovations and upcoming discounts.
However
, it
also
 has the power to subtly influence our purchasing decisions. We live in a world where services like Facebook, Google, YouTube, and Instagram appear to be free, but in reality, they operate primarily on advertising revenue. These
companies
 track users’ browsing and location histories,
as well as
 their preferences, to deliver targeted ads.
While
this
 can make finding products or services more efficient, it
also
 raises significant privacy concerns. In my opinion, individuals should have the right to protect their privacy, and stricter regulations should be implemented to control these
companies
. Users should have the option to opt out of targeted advertising, and
companies
 should be transparent about how they use user
data
.
On the other hand
, one could argue that these
companies
 rely heavily on ad revenue to sustain their massive infrastructures. Tech giants like Facebook maintain large
data
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 worldwide, requiring significant capital and thousands of employees to operate. Imposing stricter government regulations on advertising could lead to downsizing,
data
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 closures, or even bankruptcy for these
companies
. A possible solution to
this
 issue could be a subscription-based model. Users who choose to pay a monthly or yearly fee should have full control over how their
data
 is used and stored. Those who prefer the free, ad-supported model can continue as before, provided they are clearly informed of the potential downsides in simple, non-technical language. In conclusion,
while
 advertising plays a crucial role in supporting the services we use daily, it
also
 poses privacy risks that need to be addressed. A balanced approach, offering both paid and free options, could be the key to resolving
this
 issue.
Submitted by naveengeorge95 on

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task achievement
Make sure to directly address both views in a balanced manner. You could elaborate more on the perspective that adverts are useful sources of information.
task achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, you could mention particular instances of useful advertisements or manipulative advertising tactics.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Your points are clearly explained and supported with logical reasoning.
task achievement
You offered a nuanced perspective and suggested a practical solution, which adds depth to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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