IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In many societies around the world, populations are aging rapidly, leading to unsustainable increase in public health costs. The population of country must pay for health care in the future. Do you agree or disagree with statement?

Across the globe, many communities people are ageing speedily which leads to a sharp
rise
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 in public
health
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costs
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. The population of the country should bear public
health
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 expenditure.
This
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 essay completely agrees with the statement because
citizens
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 are not playing a role and the requirements of medical
equipment
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 leads to the sharp
rise
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 in public
health
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costs
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. Many ageing populations in the world facing a significant
rise
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 in medical
costs
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 because
citizens
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 are not playing the role to pay taxes regularly. The
government
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 of
such
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countries
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 are unable to define medical expense quota for the aged population.
As a result
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, the
government
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 has to lend money from the organization called WHO or the world bank which eventually puts that nation into more debt.
For instance
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, numerous
countries
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 in southern Africa are dependent on external funds to run the medical departments for senior
citizens
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 because most of the wealthy people are not paying taxes.
In addition
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 to that, another reason that the advancement of medical technology has
also
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 increased the overall
costs
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 of medical
equipment
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 which is now
next
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 to impossible for the
government
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 to buy
such
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equipment
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 in bulk because of low funds.
As a result
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, the overpopulation
countries
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government
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 are unable to serve
citizens
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 with required medical standards compare to other
countries
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.
For example
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,
countries
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 like Bangladesh are significantly lacking in imaginary
equipment
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 in major hospitals because of that most senior
citizens
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 have to wait in queue for long hours outside the public hospitals. In conclusion, many communities across the globe, facing a sharp
rise
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 in the ageing population which is adding more strain on
health
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 ministry because
such
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countries
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citizens
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 are not willing to put their income share for public
health
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 purposes, and the
rise
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 in the medical instruments is challenging for the
government
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 to buy instruments in volume.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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