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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people say that it is more important to spend time for developing a career. Some people say that it is important to share time with family and friends. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #time #career #friends
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It is unarguable that
time
Use synonyms
 management is vital for living. Many individuals believe that spending a lot of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 on improving their occupation paths is more crucial than socializing with their families and
friends
Use synonyms
. I firmly support that
friends
Use synonyms
 and family are priority over devoting to professional growth. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss both views in detail.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, getting promoted to a higher level at work leads to a higher salary.
Therefore
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, the expenditure could be used without worry.
For instance
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, with
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
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 income, paying for luxurious bags and cosmetics would be much
more
Change the word
apply
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easier.
Secondly
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, nowadays,
in
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apply
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the market has a high level of competition.
Therefore
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, it forces many labourers to improve themselves all the
time
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. These are reasons why some people focus on their vocations more.
On the other hand
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, there are many reasons why some individuals feel delighted to use their quality
time
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 with their family and
friends
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.
Firstly
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, having a healthy relationship with family is vital for lives as
on
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apply
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one would care
you
Change preposition
for you
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 as much as your family does.
For example
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, mothers have always taken care of housing tasks, even these works required a lot of contributions.
Therefore
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, spending
time
Use synonyms
 to interact and assist them would be grateful
also
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 can prevent them from stress.
Secondly
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, Friend is important as human beings need social interactions. They are someone whom you can rely on when we have any troubles to consult with, no matter in a good or bad situation.
Hence
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, Sharing some
time
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 with
friends
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 would help you get a closer relationship. To conclude, despite the fact that spending
time
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 at the office would bring many extra money and opportunities, I believe that family and
friends
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 are important factors to make our lives completed and are those are the priority.
Submitted by methamongsri on

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