IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

5. Some people believe that reading stories from e book better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #stories #e #book #tv #computer #games #children
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In
this
 contemporary world,
the
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apply
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children
 are exposed to all kinds of technologies like TV,
computers
 and
use
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the use
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 of
such
 gadgets are inevitable. Some individuals argue that it is far more beneficial for
children
 to read from an electronic gadget rather than spending hours in front of the television or personal
computers
.
This
 essay will argue that electronic
books
 are
no
Add an article
a no
show examples
 better
replacement
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replacements
show examples
 for
computers
 or television. Parents are always being wary of screen time their
child
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children
show examples
 spend
on
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apply
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watching cartoons or playing video games and try to compensate
it
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for it
show examples
 with electronic
books
.
Firstly
, reading e-
books
 gives parents a sense of surety that the
child
 is not wasting his/ her time on useless activities.
In addition
, there are possibilities that the
child
 might come across explicit
contents
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content
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 while browsing on
computers
 or TV.
For instance
,
for
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apply
show examples
children
 who
gets
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get
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 addicted
with
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to
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 gaming or cartoons find little or no time to study their lessons and the contents of digital
books
 can easily be controlled by guardians. These few instances have bolstered the parents’ faith
on
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in
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e-reader
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an e-reader
the e-reader
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 and
gives
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give
show examples
 assurance to them that the
child
 is getting some knowledge Even though electronic
books
 look lucrative to some but the health risks associated with
it
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them
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 cannot be neglected, the idea that they are harmless
are
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is
show examples
 completely preposterous. Not only the persistent exposure to the gadget screen for hours may cause health
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
 in
children
 but
also
, cause them to become addicted and becomes less social in future. A recent report in a newspaper article suggested that
the
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apply
show examples
60
percent
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per cent
show examples
 of
children
 who engage in electronic devices are much likely to develop myopia. Overall the usage of technologies by
children
 has
detrimental
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a detrimental
show examples
effect
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effects
show examples
 on
child
’s health and social development.
This
 essay argued that guardians who
prefers
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prefer
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 electronic reader have
flawed
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a flawed
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 understanding of
modern day
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modern-day
show examples
 gadgets and underestimate the negative effects they cause. In my opinion, parents should discourage the usage of any kind of electronic gadgets by their young offspring.
Submitted by simmigeorge57 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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