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Band 4.5

"Prevention is better than cure." Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#prevention #cure #country #health #budget #proportion #treatment #education #measures
Modern medicine has evolved along two lines: prevention and cure. In
this
 world, many
people
 are dying from various types of
health
-related problems due to the lack of appropriate
health
 education and preventive actions.
That is
 why, according to my perception,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should spend a huge
amount
 of money from
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
 budget for preventive measures.
To begin
 with, it is evident that, in most of the country's
health
 education is hardly imparted among the
people
. When
people
 are made aware
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health
-related issues it naturally implies prevention of umpteen
diseases
 which can be avoided with basic alterations in lifestyles.
For example
, in most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
developing countries,
people
 are suffering from so many communicable
disease
Change to a plural noun
diseases
show examples
 because they do not know about
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
 of having unhygienic food and water.
Moreover
, If the
government
 can provide the information about basic preventive steps which can be inculcated at
basic
Correct article usage
the basic
show examples
grassroot
Correct your spelling
grassroots
 level
then
 the chances of spread of various
diseases
 are alleviated and
hence
this
 would improve the overall
health
 of
people
.
Also
, another major reason is creating awareness would definitely consume
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 funds of the
government
 and would have more positive impacts.
On the other hand
, it should
also
 be remembered that not all examples of modern
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
show examples
 are preventable or predictable, and it is critical to
maintain
Change the verb form
maintaining
show examples
 research into cures for all
diseases
.
Hence
certain
Add an article
a certain
show examples
amount
 of
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
 budget should be diverted in curing
diseases
 as well.
For example
,
life taking
Add a hyphen
life-taking
show examples
diseases
such
 as cancer cannot be prevented with basic measures and
hence
 there should be funds allocated to the cure and research of
such
 gruesome
diseases
. To conclude, it can be said that, the
government
 should spend
sufficient
Correct article usage
a sufficient
show examples
amount
 of money on treatment too, but
high
Add an article
a high
the high
show examples
 proportion of
amount
Correct article usage
the amount
show examples
 should be spent on
health
 education and preventive measures so that the population of the country can live in a healthy environment with less price.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • preventive measures
  • health education
  • public awareness
  • proactive approach
  • unsustainable
  • economic productivity
  • healthcare system
  • vaccinations
  • curative measures
  • comprehensive healthcare
  • financial burden
  • incidence
  • preventable diseases
  • eradicating
  • controlling
  • allocated
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