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Band 5.5

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different age and culture together . to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

#people #music #age #culture
Some individuals tell that melody is one of the reasons which gathers diverse
people
 with each other.I agree with
this
 statement because
music
 as an international language can establish calm behaviour
amung
Correct your spelling
among
people
 who listen to that from many
countries
. In my opinion,
music
 toung attract
people
 from every cultures and
traditions
Change to a singular noun
tradition
show examples
 some time while a happy
music
 play all listeners feel great and dancing together
although
,they can not understand the meaning.
Additionally
,the
music
 which
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 popular between various
countries
such
 as "Hello "that have singed by
Addel
Correct your spelling
Added
 can make
people
 in all
the
Change preposition
over the
show examples
 world have a unique
sence
Correct your spelling
sense
 .Nowadays,traditional
music
 in specific exhibitions
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
people
 know about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other places costumes .Citizens prefer to live in a peaceful environment with other
countries
 when
learn
Change the verb form
learning
show examples
 about their differences.
As a result
 ,political issues will be solved in a better way by raising common sense between nations. The other benefit of
music
 is that celebrities who sing in a
consert
Correct your spelling
concert
 usually use branded clothes and other
acssesories
Correct your spelling
accessories
 ,
audience
Correct article usage
the audience
show examples
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
youth
Correct article usage
the youth
show examples
 try to purchase them
consequently
,trading growing up through different
countries
.
This
 business
enhance
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enhances
show examples
 the economic conditions in the world.
For instance
 ,after Korean band
consert
Correct your spelling
concert
 in
china
Add a comma
,china
show examples
 many
youngesterns
Correct your spelling
youngsters
 bought Samsung
moble
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mobile
show examples
 which all singers had on their hand while song. In conclusion,
melody
Add an article
the melody
show examples
 is from other
people
 culture that can affect
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
other person's emotions .The government should create some
cremonies
Correct your spelling
ceremonies
 in order to improve the relationship between own country with other parts of the globe.
Submitted by rezakiannejad on

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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