IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many developing countries are currently expanding their tourist industries. Why is this the case? Is it a positive or negative development?

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These days,
tourist
Use synonyms
 industries are currently being improved and expanded by a huge number of developing
countries
Use synonyms
, which has been a concern to the general public. In my opinion,
this
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 phenomenon exerts both positive and negative effects on many aspects of life. In
this
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 essay, I will
also
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 discuss some primary reasons leading to
this
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 trend. One of the most significant causes of
this
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 trend is that
tourism
Use synonyms
 is the best way to develop
countries
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 to boost the economy and enhance communities'
lives
Replace the word
living
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 standards. First of all, it includes finding out more places of interest, providing better services
about
Change preposition
for
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 accommodation, restaurants, tours and
travels
Fix the agreement mistake
travel
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, etc.
besides
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 that increase
a
Change the article
the
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 number of employment for local dwellers,
Therefore
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, these changes surely appeal to international visitors, which cause the whole economy and local
residents
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 to make profits and increase the final income.
Moreover
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, another reason for my argument is that expanding
tourism
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 helps to raise the popularity of
national
Correct article usage
the national
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images
Fix the agreement mistake
image
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.
For instance
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, a large number of beautiful pictures will be sent and spread on the Internet to promote the
countries
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’ beauty and attract tourists from all paths of life.
On the other hand
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, many developing
countries
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 which are expanding
tourism
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 are
also
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 considered to be a negative development. Specifically,
such
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 minor changes in
tourist
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 attractions can
also
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 put heavy pressure on
residents
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 who are in their vicinity, so that, local
residents
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 may have to change their lifestyle to keep up with the pace of
tourist
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 attraction,
thus
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, discouraging them from following traditional ways of living.
Besides
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, expanding
tourist
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 industries means less space for other activities and industries
such
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 as farming, industrial areas, etc. In conclusion,
tourism
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 is expanding
as a result
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 of its importance to the economy of developing
countries
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. I totally believe that it is both a pros and cons development. It not only encourages the
countries
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 to develop but
also
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 illustrates the national
images
Fix the agreement mistake
image
show examples
.
However
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, it
also
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 has negative effects
such
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 as pressure on local
residents
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 and erases
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traditional lifestyles.

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task response
Please ensure that the essay fully addresses the prompt by discussing both positive and negative aspects of expanding tourist industries in developing countries. Additionally, provide specific examples and support for your ideas to enhance clarity and completeness.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be strengthened by clearly stating the position taken and summarizing the main points. Ensure that ideas are logically organized and connected throughout the essay to improve coherence and cohesion.
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