IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals; during festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #festivals #periods
The meaning of locally traditional festivals has not been remembered by some of those who desired to only participate and enjoy themselves during
this
 time. In my opinion, I do not agree that most
people
 ignore what traditional events mean because they are taught by teachers and families;
however
, there are some counterviewpoints to consider about the enjoyment of
people
 these days. Both arguments along with my perspective linked to
this
 topic will be outlined in the following paragraphs. There is one argument put forward against the forgettable meaning of local events. Recent years have witnessed an increase in the number of
people
 who have not known how important festivals are. It is undeniable that they just joined these fantastic ones for fun. Most of them still not only behave incorrectly but
also
 ignore some step-by-step processes of a holiday period;
hence
, the meaning is slowed disappeared. In ‘Songkran day’ in Thailand,
for example
, hardly any
people
 show respect to their grandparents, they only enjoy the activities that make them delighted. There are,
however
, a host of arguments in favour of those who remember the history of festivals. Almost all schools included the history subject in their curriculums. There is a universal consensus that adults
such
 as teachers and parents pass their own knowledge of the importance of festival’s stories to the new generation. By doing
this
, students little by little understand the true historical background, perhaps showing that all of the knowledge still exists. An outstanding example of
this
 seems to be the understanding of children in ‘Songkran day’. Even though many
people
 loved to play in shooting water
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
 day, most
people
 truly understand the meaning of each day. To sum up, despite some only enjoying during holiday seasons, I am of the opinion that almost all
people
 still acknowledge the festival background by the encouragement of elderly.
Submitted by watunyu.s on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Commercialization
  • Globalization
  • Cultural dilution
  • Traditional values
  • Secularization
  • Festivity
  • Heritage
  • Individualism vs. collectivism
  • Consumer culture
  • Intangible cultural heritage
What to do next:
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