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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

At the present time, the population of some countries includes relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

#time #population #countries #adults #people
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I am going to discuss the situation when a number of grown
mean
Change to a plural noun
means
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 prevails count of the old and which scale of effect it has. In the beginning, we should admit that numerous countries have that case which can bring about both pluses and minuses. Anyhow, I am quite sure that
such
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 circumstances have more significant advantages
thaen
Correct your spelling
than
then
 disadvantages. On the one hand, the aged
people
Use synonyms
 are original link with our history and past.
Moreover
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, they can be the
first
Linking Words
 true source of knowledge and eyewitness of momentous events.
In addition
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, they inure to example for a new generation how to be kind, conscious human.
Thus
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, they take an
honorable
Change the spelling
honourable
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 place in society.
On the other hand
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, we should specify that adults can be classified as
people
Use synonyms
 who are able to
for
Change preposition
apply
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work during their active years . Meanwhile, most countries have a tax system where the volume of pensions directly depends on the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
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 of workers.
In other words
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, more
people
Use synonyms
 of
in
Correct your spelling
an
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 employable age can provide
more
Correct article usage
a more
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 beneficial life for
people
Use synonyms
 who
retirement
Replace the word
retire
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. They make an enormous contribution
in
Change preposition
apply
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to the contemporary
economicy
Correct your spelling
economic
economics
 system.
Also
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, both adults and adolescents can easily get used to
handlinge
Correct your spelling
handling
 modern devices and applying new methods for solution solving problems in restlessly developing spheres.
Consequently
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, we have more active
people
Use synonyms
 who can keep up with the time. Obviously, we admit that
such
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 tendency has more advantages
thaen
Correct your spelling
than
then
 disadvantages.
Nonetheless
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, we should provide opportunities for young
people
Use synonyms
 and do not
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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forget to do aged
people
Use synonyms
 justice
Submitted by mila.kniaz on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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