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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people say that individuals over 65 should not be allowed to continue working. Other things that people should be allowed to work for as long as they can choose. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #individuals #work
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It is an irrefutable fact that
people
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 decide when they stop working, but working until old ages can
cause
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body
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 problems
such
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 as broken backs. Those families that are unfortunate, sadly do not have much money and rely on the elders for income. It is still very hard for those families who might be struggling from debt.
First
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 and foremost is
body
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 problems.
People
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 who
work
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 long shifts and are specifically 65 or older might start having problems.
For example
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, leaning too much can
cause
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 irregular and severe backbone structures. The elders are the
first
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 sources of income that are reached after their families might be going through harsh times. It is extremely hard for
people
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 to go through drastic phases
such
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 as the injuries becoming permanent.
Secondly
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,
work
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 rates. Arbeit most elders still have a lot of energy, most of them are slow and can barely run.
This
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 is an issue that slows companies’ selling and production rates. They are never criticized for it since they are old of age and all have the same
body
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 development over the years.
Finally
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, is relaxation and retirement. Currently, sixty-five is the average age for stoping to
work
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. After retirement, everyone has a chance of pursuing their life-long dreams.
People
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 To recapitulate, I opine that getting retired after 65 is the healthier option.
People
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 should not be able to
work
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 after 65 since it could
cause
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 it can
cause
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 serious harm both mentally and physically. It is recommended to stop working after 65 since it is a lot more beneficial to the human
body
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 and mind.
Submitted by sargsyan_armine on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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