Some people say that individuals over 65 should not be allowed to continue working. Others think that people should be allowed to work for as long as they can choose. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #individuals #work

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Retirement is one of the essential factors connected with

elderly

Add an article

an elderly

the elderly

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population who are over 65 years old, particularly in the current day.

However

Linking Words

, it is thought that the citizens in

this

Linking Words

generation still have the ability to improve a community

such

Linking Words

as their experiences and knowledge. From my point of view, there are many benefit sights of giving an opportunity to the seniors. In the

Linking Words

paragraphs, both views with actual examples will be outlined in detail.

First

Linking Words

of all, there are some opinions that every society should have a relaxing time when they get old particularly a retirement.

For instance

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, the Nation Human Resource shows the research that physical problems from seniors

such

Linking Words

as eye problems and losing memories will emerge increasingly after people are over 60 years. From

this

Linking Words

research, it is clear to believe that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society should not allow

older

Add an article

the older

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generation to work forever and they need a retired year for giving themselves health treatments.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, giving an opportunity to the old generation is effective to the community in many aspects.

For example

Linking Words

, the Elderly Health Care Organisation showed the report that the senior can share knowledge from their experiences to a workplace more than some junior officers by 20 per cent. As the result, the elderly are more likely to gain their self-esteem and be less depressing than sitting in their house alone in

retirement

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the retirement

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period. From

this

Linking Words

view, there are many positive views in letting older people resume

Change preposition

apply

show examples

work. In conclusion, there are both positive and drawbacks of letting the elderly continue working.

However

Linking Words

, it seems to me that there are effective sights to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society more than negatives.

Submitted by patsam.patsy on Mon Dec 27 2021

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

279 words

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Some people say that individuals over 65 should not be allowed to continue working. Others think that people should be allowed to work for as long as they can choose. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many feel that the common educational system of teachers and students in a classroom will be replaced by the year 2050. Do you agree with this view? Give your opinion.

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Many university students want to learn about different subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others feel it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for their qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In spite of the advance made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this case? What can be down about this problem?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?