IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

some people say it's a waste of time to plan for the future .We should live in the present.To what extent do you agree or disagree

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Nowadays, more and more
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to live in the present and have started to forget about planning for their
future
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. In my opinion, I totally disagree with the definition of a waste of time planning for the
future
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.
Moreover
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, proper
future
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 planning has several benefits
such
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 as success in one career, increased
motivation
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 in individuals
as well as
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 increased quality of
life
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. First of all, planning for the
future
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 will improve the quality of
life
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 and increase
motivation
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 for individuals.
For example
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,
according to
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 a survey at Western Sydney Uni, 90 % of students who are planning for their
future
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 are more successful in their careers.
Additionally
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, without
future
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 planning,
this
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 will lead to a lack of individual
motivation
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such
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 as lack of task achievement
as well as
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 it will decreasing individual
motivation
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.
Following
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this
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,
people
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 who set a good plan for their
future
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 will be more enjoyable in
life
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 and have a bright
future
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.
In particular
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, they will have a strong financial to travel around the world and enjoy their
life
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 compared to
people
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 who are not planning for their
future
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.
In addition
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, if the
future
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 is properly planned even a small thing will become successful.
To sum up
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, there are more and more
people
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 in
this
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 generation who are likely to live in the present with a lack of
future
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 planning.
Consequently
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,
this
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 will lead to struggles in finance and the quality of
life
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. To be honest, I believe that proper
future
Use synonyms
 planning will have a variety of benefits for individuals.

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structure
Make sure your essay has a clear introduction, at least two or three body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You've done this well, so keep it up!
coherence
Use a range of linking words to connect ideas within and across sentences and paragraphs for better cohesion. Your essay could benefit from a wider variety of these.
development
Develop paragraphs with a clear main idea and supporting sentences. You've supported your main points, but try to expand on them with more specific examples and details for greater impact.
task response
Address all parts of the task prompt to ensure a complete response. While your essay addresses the prompt, further elaboration on opposing viewpoints could strengthen your argument.
examples
Use specific examples to illustrate your points. Aim to include relevant examples that clearly support your argument. Though you've included an example, more specific examples would enhance your essay's persuasiveness.
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