IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #health #future
It is an argued that society becomes unhealthier in upcoming years as they live their life nowadays. I strongly disagree with
this
 statement because the public takes their
health
 as their
first
 priority.
Firstly
, the community like to go to the gym and
health
 club on daily basis. Everyone maintain his physique in proper shape, so that, look attractive and smarter.
Moreover
,
people
also
 do yoga and meditation to make their minds fresh and increase their core strength. Gyms and
health
 clubs,
therefore
, are in trend these days. In a recent survey, researchers show that not only youngsters go to the gym but
also
 elder go for walk and clubs so, they can keep fit. 
That is
 a revolution in the field of the
health
 sector.
Secondly
, crowed prefer most homemade food and follow a diet plan which may help them to maintain their fitness.
People
 are aware of their fellow ones through social media by posting balanced diet plans and positive facts to stay healthy. It reduces depression in patients as well as heart disease. In Canada, most
people
 prefer to in that restaurants which serve salads and boiled food, it shows healthy food become their
first
 preference. In conclusion,
although
 some
people
 do not accept
this
 change properly,
this
 trend may gain popularity in the future time because it's totally proven that a healthy soul lives inside a healthy body.
Submitted by grewalpt1249 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Standard of health
  • 2. Average
  • 3. Lower
  • 4. Future
  • 5. Aging population
  • 6. Chronic diseases
  • 7. Sedentary lifestyle
  • 8. Lack of exercise
  • 9. Poor dietary habits
  • 10. Environmental pollution
  • 11. Technological advancements
  • 12. Impact on health
What to do next:
Look at other essays: