IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe that eventually all jobs will be done by artificially intelligent robots. What is your opinion?

#people #jobs #robots
With the advancement of ,technology
people
 tend to rely upon many technically advanced equipment, including artificially intelligent
robots
.
However
, some
people
 strongly believe that at
last
 all jobs will be done by these
things
 by replacing the human workforce. I believe that even the technical advancement and reliance on
robots
 make our lives easier, we can't completely rely on these
things
 as mankind. Especially, in developed countries factories with massive production depend on
robots
. Actually, these
things
 are very efficient, cost-effective, and smart. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 in here once we coded them they follow all the instructions without bargaining. Thereby, it is very easy to cover targets on time without any delay. As well as it allows
people
 to reduce their busyness as well as reduce their responsibilities, which help in relaxing them. With the help of artificially intelligent ,
robots
people
 would be able to allocate their extra time to other useful
things
.
However
, totally we cannot depend on
such
 kinds of machinery
things
, because these machines are lack emotions, rational thinking, decision-making ability, adapting to real-life situations like us. For ,
example
Add an article
the example
an example
show examples
 we cannot replace doctors, nurses, counsellors with
robots
. Because they especially deal with
people
's emotions.
Moreover
, we cannot hold face to face meetings with these artificial gadgets.
Finally
, l would like to say applying the potential of artificially intelligent
robots
 in jobs is important ,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 it is better to integrate their capabilities with human knowledge to get
a better outcomes
Correct the article-noun agreement
better outcomes
a better outcome
show examples
.
Submitted by tharukaperera141 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: