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Writing Samples
Band 4

Obesity was once considered a disease of adults; however, it is being increasingly common among children. Why do you think this is happening? What can be done to help children stay healthy?

#obesity #disease #adults #children
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Obesity
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 is mostly portrayed as a disease that could happen mostly to adults but now it happens to
children
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 as well. There are some possible reasons for
this
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 phenomenon,
for example
Linking Words
, eating behaviour of fast
food
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 for the family with
kids
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 and less physical activity for
children
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 nowadays. Fast
food
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 restaurants are getting famous as an option to spend their family time. Almost every weekend, we could see parents with their
kids
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 are having meals in a junk
food
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 bar. Fast
food
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 is already known as unhealthy
food
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 which contains too much salt and mostly has not enough nutrition.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 family eating behaviour could risk
children
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's
obesity
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. On the other side,
kids
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 these days mostly spend their time with gadgets rather than being active with friends and doing physical activities.
This
Linking Words
 lead to unstable of the input-output process of their energy and
finally
Linking Words
 the
children
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 would have an
obesity
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 problem. To reduce the potential of
obesity
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 in
kids
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, parents should understand the actual needs of their
children
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 and feed them with nutritious
food
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. It is probably harder than finding fast
food
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,
however
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 it would affect in a long term. It would affect the
children
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's growth and health. The parents
also
Linking Words
 have to support their
kids
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 to be more active physically and restrict the use of gadgets.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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