79.Some people think that the best way to reduce the time spent in travelling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city center with apartment buildings for commuters. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #time #work #parks #gardens #city #center #apartment #buildings #commuters

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It is argued that replacing

parks

Use synonyms

and

gardens

Use synonyms

which are close to the city centre with

buildings

Use synonyms

is the best way to reduce the time that individuals spend travelling to work.

This

Linking Words

essay completely disagrees with

this

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statement because it is not a healthy decision and

people

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will still travel to other

places

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. Many countries’ cities are full of cars and

buildings

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, with just some green spaces, because of the large number of vehicles that are on the roads, the quality of the

air

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is very poor,

then

Linking Words

if the only green spaces are changed to

buildings

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then

Linking Words

the

air

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quality is going to get worse.

This

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leads to health problems since individuals will be breathing bad-quality

air

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, and

this

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can cause respiratory-related problems.

For example

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, in the

last

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decades, the cases of asthma in Europe have increased compared with the past, and

this

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is because of the poor quality of

air

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, and the increasing contamination. The

parks

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and

gardens

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are

places

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where

people

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go to rest and enjoy the time with the environment, they are the only

places

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where citizens can breathe fresher

air

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, because of the large amount of trees and flowers.

Then

Linking Words

, if these

places

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are changed to

buildings

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when

people

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want to go to

parks

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, they need to spend more time travelling to get to one of these

places

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For instance

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, in Spain, there are many

gardens

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and

parks

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in the city centre, but if these all are changed to

buildings

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then

Linking Words

people

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need to travel to the outside of their town, where there are forests and mountains. In conclusion, changing

gardens

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and

parks

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into apartments for commuters will increase

air

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pollution, causing problems in

people

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’s health and individuals will need to travel longer distances if they want to relax in natural environments, I,

therefore

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, believe that replacing

gardens

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and

parks

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into

buildings

Use synonyms

is a negative development.

Submitted by elenazheng1211 on Sat Nov 11 2023

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Supported Main Points

Ensure every main point is well-supported with specific examples and detailed explanations. While your essay contained relevant examples, some parts could benefit from more detail to enhance clarity and persuasiveness.

Clear Comprehensive Ideas

To maintain task achievement, it's critical to address all parts of the prompt thoroughly. Your response was complete, though a few more comprehensive ideas could solidify your argument.

Logical Structure

Employ a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing techniques to enhance the logical flow of the essay. Though overall coherent, improvement could help in connecting ideas more effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

311 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

commuters
urban areas
housing availability
alleviating housing crises
public transport
traffic congestion
environmental health
biodiversity
recreational
mental health benefits
urban heat islands
green lungs
community interaction
cohesion
innovative urban planning
multi-use buildings

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79.Some people think that the best way to reduce the time spent in travelling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city center with apartment buildings for commuters. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. other people think that advertising is do common that we no longer pay attention to it. discuss both views.

In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?

In a public-funded health care system people who are willing to pay for the best and fastest treatment should be able to do so. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Some people hesitate between getting a job and starting their own business. While the idea of not having a boss and working on one's own schedule may sound tempting, financial risks and stress sometimes outweigh these advantages. In your opinion what are the pros and cons of working in a company?

Some people say that the amount of noise that people make should be strictly controlled. Others say that people should be free to make as much noise as they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.