Some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different culture and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree
In
this
contemporary world,music
have
totally changed Change the verb form
has
people
's life.It is believed that music
can play a significant role in gathering all kinds of individuals in terms of culture and age.I will support this
view with arguments in the following paragraphs.
One of the major plus points of music
is the fact that it can readily change people
's mood
. It Fix the agreement mistake
moods
also
affect
Change the verb form
affects
relationship
.I take Add an article
the relationship
a relationship
family
party as an example.When Correct article usage
a family
music
play
in Change the verb form
plays
this
ceremony,all members of family
Add an article
the family
such
as children,parents,grandpa and grandmom will get together for dancing or singing
the popular track with each other.We can easily see the warm atmosphere among them, while if Wrong verb form
sing
music
did not exist,all members would dazzle at mobile
screen.
Regarding a bigger group Add an article
the mobile
such
as society,when special music
festivals are held,a majority of different types of people
will come to the festival.We can see all ages,religions,cultures and so on.That is
to say,music
can unite people
on
the best wayChange preposition
in
way
,Remove the redundancy
apply
also
in some international countries,like dubai
,some Change the capitalization
Dubai
music
played
in the street which is related to Add a missing verb
is played
specific
country.Thereby,Add an article
a specific
the specific
this
work attracts a lot of people
.Finally
,music
can aid people
to to
Remove the redundancy
apply
Correct your spelling
hang out
hangout
with each other in every age and culture.
In conclusion,Correct your spelling
hang out
music
can inffluence
on various things.One of them is to build unity among Correct your spelling
influence
people
,so I suppose that government ahould
use Correct your spelling
should
this
opportunity and allocate budget
Correct article usage
a budget
on
these events.Change preposition
for
Therefore
,they can create a vibrant city with music
.Submitted by zahranajaran10 on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite