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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

some people believe that university students should pay all the cost of studies because university education only benefits students themselves not the society as a whole. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #university #students #cost #studies #education #society
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In modern times, there are some individual opinions that
university
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 should pay all the
fees
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 of
studies
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 because
university
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 education only benefits themselves not the society as a whole.
This
Linking Words
 is a new matter that will lead to serious controversy .
Thus
Linking Words
,
this
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 essay will partly disagree with that idea. It is obvious that
students
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 would directly benefit because they study for themselves,
therefore
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, they must pay all the cost of
studies
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.
In particular
Linking Words
, studying at
university
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 helps them advance their knowledge and skills for
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 future job. Currently, after graduation, a number of people do not work in
this
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 branch which they study so some people assume that
students
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 have to take responsibility for
this
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 behaviour. When paying all the
fees
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 for studying by themselves, they have more motivation to continue studying.
However
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, a
students
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’ job in the future contributes a part of the economy. It is undeniable that there remain some problems about finances, personal condition, etc that do not allow them to pay
fees
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.
Students
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 do not have enough abilities to pay all the
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
 of
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studies
Correct pronoun usage
their studies
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, especially in the
first
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 year.
In
Change preposition
At
show examples
this
Linking Words
 age, they can only work part-time and cannot complete
fees
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 or even affect their
studying
Replace the word
studies
show examples
.
As a result
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,
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the worst situation,
students
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 will drop out of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
university
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 and go to work without any certificate.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they cannot find long term jobs. Some people argue that there are numerous academic branches that are useful for society
such
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 as doctors so it will be unequal if
students
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 have to pay all
fees
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. In conclusion, paying all the cost of
studies
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 has several limitations,
therefore
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,
university
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students
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 need some assistance
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
fees
Use synonyms
 in school.
Submitted by hoctotnha on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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