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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged.Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #sense #competition #children #co-operate #adults
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Most parents in Taiwan believe that adopting
children
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 more competitively will provide them with a better
life
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 in the future.
However
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, the fact is that there are many opportunities that require
teamwork
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 in multiple parts of
life
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. From my perspective, both a sense of competition and co-operating
are
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is
show examples
 important in childhood development.
First
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 of all, it is an undeniable fact that being competitive can have more choices in
life
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. In
this
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 ,society
children
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 are taught to compete with each other and get the prize. Especially, in the education system students are judged by what scores they get.
As a result
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, many parents let their
children
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 learn a lot of knowledge and skills in childhood
such
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 as piano and abacus calculation. Everything is prepared for what university they can enter. If students get higher scores in the exam for university, they have more lists of universities to choose
.
Change preposition
from.
show examples
Furthermore
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, being competitive is
also
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 better for the job. You will have the right to choose what kind of company you want to get in but not just wait for an offer after interviews. Even more important, though, is co-operating.
Teamwork
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 is unavoidable in our lives, we must face it.
For example
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, the teacher would make students work in a group for a final presentation. When working in a company, staffs have to work together on a project.
Teamwork
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 skills turn to be important in childhood development. Parents have to teach their
children
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 how to work with other people and make them get used to doing it. As well,
teamwork
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 benefits
children
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 for personality development.
Children
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 will be able to become more patient or have leadership. Overall, being competitive will have the option to get a better
life
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.
However
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,
teamwork
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 skills are indispensable to be a useful person in
this
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 society.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • compete
  • cooperate
  • useful
  • adults
  • skills
  • motivation
  • drive
  • resilience
  • failure
  • workplace
  • empathy
  • social skills
  • reduce
  • stress
  • pressure
  • balanced
  • approach
  • ideal
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