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Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged.Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #sense #competition #children #co-operate #adults
Most parents in Taiwan believe that adopting
children
 more competitively will provide them with a better
life
 in the future.
However
, the fact is that there are many opportunities that require
teamwork
 in multiple parts of
life
. From my perspective, both a sense of competition and co-operating
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 important in childhood development.
First
 of all, it is an undeniable fact that being competitive can have more choices in
life
. In
this
 ,society
children
 are taught to compete with each other and get the prize. Especially, in the education system students are judged by what scores they get.
As a result
, many parents let their
children
 learn a lot of knowledge and skills in childhood
such
 as piano and abacus calculation. Everything is prepared for what university they can enter. If students get higher scores in the exam for university, they have more lists of universities to choose
.
Change preposition
from.
show examples
Furthermore
, being competitive is
also
 better for the job. You will have the right to choose what kind of company you want to get in but not just wait for an offer after interviews. Even more important, though, is co-operating.
Teamwork
 is unavoidable in our lives, we must face it.
For example
, the teacher would make students work in a group for a final presentation. When working in a company, staffs have to work together on a project.
Teamwork
 skills turn to be important in childhood development. Parents have to teach their
children
 how to work with other people and make them get used to doing it. As well,
teamwork
 benefits
children
 for personality development.
Children
 will be able to become more patient or have leadership. Overall, being competitive will have the option to get a better
life
.
However
,
teamwork
 skills are indispensable to be a useful person in
this
 society.
Submitted by nanami641003 on

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • compete
  • cooperate
  • useful
  • adults
  • skills
  • motivation
  • drive
  • resilience
  • failure
  • workplace
  • empathy
  • social skills
  • reduce
  • stress
  • pressure
  • balanced
  • approach
  • ideal
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