Some people think painting and drawings are important as other subjects. They should be compulsory in high school education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It's often argued that drawing should declared as one of the primary subjects at the school. I completely agree with

this

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, as art helps in developing our imaginary

skills

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and mental well-being. First of all, I believe that when a child studies arts as a part of formal education aids him to develop creativity and problem-solving

skills

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That is

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, when a child is asked to draw something he is forced to think and imagine, and

as a result

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, his cognitive

skills

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are built.

For example

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, research published in 'The Journal', in 2023, stated that children who were getting trained for drawing were able to provide a better innovative idea for a real-world problem.

Thus

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such

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subjects will help an individual inculcate

such

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skills

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Secondly

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, mental health is in a good state when a student is sketching or colouring,

this

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is because his mind is occupied with doing a process which he enjoys.

That is

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when the brain is involved in doing an activity that a person loves,

this

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causes it to reduce its stress levels.

For instance

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, an article released in 'The Hindu', in 2024, mentioned that when a person is working on something that he loves, like creating an art, sketch, or craft, which makes the cerebrum (the Brain's front part) releases dopamine which helps to reduce anxiety and stress.

Hence

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, art classes ensure the mental peace of children. In conclusion, I argue that drawing should be included as an important subject in schools and colleges. Because it ensures the growth of cognitive

skills

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and mental wellness.

yashaswikhotWed Aug 21 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that you briefly restate the main points discussed in the essay when concluding. This provides a rounded close to your discourse.

coherence cohesion

While the introduction is good, further contextualizing the topic with a bit more background information will make it even stronger.

coherence cohesion

Consider varying the sentence structures and linking words to enhance readability and fluidity throughout the essay.

task achievement

Expand your reasons slightly to give a more exhaustive analysis. This will strengthen your argument and provide a more compelling case.

task achievement

While the ideas are clear and relevant, integrating more direct counter-arguments and refutations might enrich the essay.

task achievement

You’ve provided strong and relevant specific examples to support your arguments, which is commendable.

coherence cohesion

You've structured your essay well with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, aiding the flow of your argument.

coherence cohesion

Each paragraph stays focused on its main idea, which contributes to the overall coherence of the essay.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

artistic expression
communication
self-expression
creativity
critical thinking skills
cultural appreciation
understanding
therapeutic benefits
mental well-being
career opportunities

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Some people think painting and drawings are important as other subjects. They should be compulsory in high school education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems. To what extend do you agree?

More and more companies should employ older people. Do you agree?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Many shopping malls have been built in different countries all over the world. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this for the local people?