IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

By punishing murderer with the death penally, society is also guilty of committing murder. Therefore, life in prison is a better punishment for murderere. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#murderer #death #society #murder #life #prison #punishment #murderere
I decided to start my career in the
second
 year of college, to be an internet celebrity. The reason for
this
 is that when I post photos or short videos on social media platforms, my friends even strangers often ask me a
lot
Add the preposition
oflot
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 questions like what my clothing brand is or what shade of lipstick I use. I am willing to share my personal experience and narrate
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
show examples
 an attractive way. When others recognize or imitate me, I feel very fulfilled. It inspired me to think that why do not
to
Change the verb form
apply
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share
to
Change preposition
with
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 more people about my life or my experiences if they are interested
in
Correct pronoun usage
itin
show examples
. In the initial stage, I planned the theme myself, wrote the script myself, and filmed and edited the video with a fixed tripod. The themes are usually about clothes or cosmetics, and sometimes I
also
 share some interesting things that happened in my life or my personal views.
For example
, when I volunteered at the 55th Golden Horse Film Festival, I use
vlog
Correct article usage
a vlog
show examples
 to record it tell my story.
This
 is not a simple matter, but thanks to my training in the university,
for example
, I plan and host programs on the radio of Shixin University, I have enough experience to deal with it.
Submitted by sweetdaisy1222 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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