In some countries, secondary schools aim to provide a general education across a range of subjects. In others, children focus on a narrow range of subjects related to a particular career. Which of these two systems is more appropriate in today’s world?

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Some countries arrange a wide range of matters in the secondary level curriculum.

However

, others offer limited subjects which aim to prepare

children

for specific employment. In my opinion, the former education system is more suitable than the latter one. I will support my opinion in the following paragraph. On the one hand, offering various subjects in secondary school broaden pupils' horizons, and they gain a lot of knowledge from various topics.

For instance

, they learn about, physics, mathematics, chemistry, medicine accompanied by art and music. So, they will obtain a better understanding of their skills and interests, and

also

their weaknesses.

As a result

, they could make better decisions about their future field of study and jobs.

This

method is crucial in today's world in which most people are not pleased with their careers for not choosing the correct fields of study.

This

dissatisfaction sometimes leads to depression and other mental and even physical illnesses.

On the other hand

, schools with limited ranges of topics by concentrating on just restricted subjects prepare

children

for their future career. Students could either easily find employment after finishing their high school or continuing in tertiary level to become masters.

However

, I do not find

this

education system acceptable. After all, in the

future

Add a comma

,future

show examples

they may not find their job satisfying because they should choose their field of study at an early age, and they are not given a chance to explore other fields. In conclusion,

However

, preparing

children

for a specific career at an early stage by educating them in a narrow range of subject have seen potential merit in some circumstance I believe showing other areas of knowledge to

children

make them more aware of their interests and skills.

Submitted by behnaz.babayani on Tue Dec 28 2021

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

288 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some countries, secondary schools aim to provide a general education across a range of subjects. In others, children focus on a narrow range of subjects related to a particular career. Which of these two systems is more appropriate in today’s world?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The most important of science should be to improve people's lives. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?.

Directors of large organisations receive much higher salaries than ordinary workers. Some think it is necessary, while others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

You have bought some clothing online and are not satisfied with your purchase. Write a letter to the company that you bought the clothing from. In your email •Give details of your purchase •Describe the problem •Explain why you need a replacement urgently

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that to benefit the development of a child, the mother and father should take parenting classes. To what extent you agree or disagree with this statement?