IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

task 2 : Many people believe that formal'pen and paper ' examinations are not the best method of assessing educational achievement. What is your view of examinations?

#people #pen #paper #examinations #method #achievement
Many
people
 believe that formal “pen and paper”
exams
 are not the best way to measure academic achievement. So, I personally view the exam
is
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
 the right thing. We need new methods rather than tests on them
Firstly
, testing on paper and pen may cause
students
 to not be able to reveal all of their abilities.
Students
 may be anxious and tired, which can lead to poor test performance.
Next,
some teachers will only teach required knowledge, thereby leading to a narrowing of knowledge and education.
For example
,
students
 only rote learning and
then
 forget the knowledge they have learned.
As a result
,
students
 will only be able to learn passively, leading to
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
 social skills later on.
Secondly
, we will be able to see problems of cheating in
exams
, which is not fair. The testing method where we just sit at a table and take the test will cause bad
people
 to cheat on
exams
, which makes them have poor skills for the future, makes them hated by everyone, and has no own efforts. Another case is that
people
 with money can cheat on tests easily, which is unfair to others, making society increasingly stagnant by
such
people
.
Therefore
, I think we should have new testing methods to bring more fairness
as well as
 new opportunities for everyone. In conclusion,
exams
 clearly have a role to play in ensuring proper, objective assessment of achievement.
However
,
exams
 need to be carefully designed and supplemented with other forms of assessment if they are to be a truly useful component of the educational system
Submitted by thuhong.68hnue on

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introduction conclusion present
The essay could benefit from a clearer introduction that presents a thesis statement reflecting your opinion on examinations. This helps the reader understand the direction of the essay right from the beginning.
supported main points
You should expand on your ideas with more developed explanations and relevant examples. For example, when discussing narrow education, detail how alternative assessment methods can broaden learning.
relevant specific examples
Work on providing specific, concrete examples to support your claims. Instead of generally stating that cheating occurs, describe real scenarios or studies that show how prevalent cheating is and how it affects assessment credibility.
logical structure
Ensure that the ideas are communicated clearly and that the progression from one point to the next is logical and natural. Use linking words effectively to improve the flow of your essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your essay makes some valid points, but you need to develop your arguments more fully to fully satisfy the task response. Provide a balanced discussion by considering different views and offering a nuanced opinion on exams.
complete response
Consider addressing the prompt more directly by discussing alternative methods of assessment in greater detail. By doing so, you can demonstrate a complete understanding of the topic and a comprehensive approach to answering the question.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • formal examinations
  • pen and paper
  • educational achievement
  • assess
  • standardized measure
  • knowledge and skills
  • develop skills
  • stressful
  • pressure
  • capture
  • abilities
  • potential
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