Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a new job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Although
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university education allows you to acquire enough knowledge to be an expert on a certain topic, nowadays university education is being put into question because it does not always go
along with
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a good job.
In addition
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, employers are giving increasing importance to having soft
skills
Use synonyms
and experience. In
this
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essay, I will discuss both points of view and explain why I support the second viewpoint. On the one hand, some people argue that university education permits the creation of suitable profiles for fields where knowledge is more relevant than experience to successfully develop your career in the future.
For instance
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, in science, engineering or finance, you need to have a deep understanding of the theory to perform your duties properly.
On the other hand
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, others believe that there are other fields in which the job market needs workers with appropriate soft
skills
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for positions like management, customer service, medicine, manufacturing…
Although
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in these types of jobs, knowledge is still important, it is even more crucial to have the correct personality features,
such
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as being helpful, sociable, dynamic and resolutive.
For example
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, a survey conducted in healthcare companies demonstrates that 70 % of the employees have studied vocational training and that these workers are highly valuable for the business. In conclusion, you need both things to improve your profile and CV.
However
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, judging from my personal experience, soft
skills
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have played a more crucial role in my career because they have let me adapt to different job environments and deal with customers and coworkers.
Therefore
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, I agree with those who give more importance to soft
skills
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.

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improvement
Your essay has a clear view and you state your own view in the end. You could add more depth to both sides with more detail.
improvement
Use more linking words to show how ideas connect and to guide the reader.
example
Give more real examples and show how they back your point.
grammar
Check small grammar mistakes and keep sentences short and clear.
strength
Clear stand on the topic
structure
Good form with intro, body and conclusion
coherence
You compare sides well
examples
Some real life example used
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • theoretical knowledge
  • specialized training
  • networking
  • baseline requirement
  • financial burden
  • hands-on experience
  • practical skills
  • soft skills
  • dynamic job market
  • entrepreneur
  • formal education
  • portfolio
  • hybrid approach
What to do next:
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