Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level off sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
processed foods or drinks contain
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
high levels of
sugar
which are dangerous for public health.
Therefore
, these
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
of
products
should be more expensive to prevent
people
from buying. I disagree with the statement because it isn't a sustainable method for encouraging
people
in consuming less
sugar
. I believe adding
sugar
tax
without increasing a selling price and enforcing
companies
in taking care of public health are
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
.
To begin
with,
tax
should be kept on
products
that contain a high dose of
sugar
.
This
will force manufactures to produce quality foods,
otherwise
, they will receive less
profit
.
Moreover
, producing healthy
products
is the responsibility of manufactures, whereas raising a selling price implies that the responsibility is pushed to consumers.
For example
, a high
sugar
soft drink in a market is more expensive. Perhaps, a company will gain more
profit
because
people
are already addicted to
sugar
while the soft drink gains more margin.
On the other hand
, if the government keeps
tax
from the company, they will lose their
profit
and will need to find an alternative
way
to sell soft drinks. In the best case, they might create some food
innovation
Fix the agreement mistake
innovations
show examples
such
as
sugar
-free
products
.
In addition
, manufacturers that produce unhealthy
products
should pay society back. Everyone needs to take responsibility for their actions include the manufactures. If they create a negative effect (provide unhealthy food) on society, they need to take some action to cover a public loss.
For instance
, many alcohol
companies
support
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
academies to encourage
people
to exercise. The
companies
damage the health, so they cover by
encourage
Change the verb form
encouraging
show examples
people
to do healthy activities. To summarise, raising the price of
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high level
Add a hyphen
high-level
show examples
sugar
products
isn't an effective
way
to make
people
consume less
sugar
. Keeping a
sugar
tax
and forcing the
companies
to do CRS is a better
way
. These two strategies will prevent any
profit
from unhealthy
products
and
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
will encourage the producers to do good activities for the public. I believe
this
is a sustainable
way
.
Submitted by ekkawin.v on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sugar consumption
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • encourage
  • expensive
  • reduce
  • effectively
  • discourage
  • tight budget
  • purchasing
  • disproportionately
  • lower-income individuals
  • healthier food choices
  • demand
  • regardless
What to do next:
Look at other essays: