IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in the countryside. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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Few individuals are started settling down in
urban
Correct article usage
the urban

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 side from rural areas and leaving behind countryside dwellers . On the whole, I believe it is a negative development to a great and reasons for same would be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs. Even though, migration of young individuals from backward areas to metropolitan cities
are
Change the verb form
is

The verb are does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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 beneficial for both adults and old aged people. As they will get exposure
of
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 more career opportunities and chances of becoming successful and
finanically
Correct your spelling
financially

The word finanically is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

sound
are
Change the verb form
is

The verb are does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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 more. Later, they will be able to afford all luxuries for their old parents.
However
Linking Words

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, depopulation has more negative effects on the aged community. Probably, the most prominent reason to believe
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 is after adulthood, a person
need
Change the verb form
needs

The verb need does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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 his children the most.
Otherwise
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they will suffer from various physical and mental complications. Proper care should be given to them as most of them are not physically fit even to walk. In fact, symptoms of depression are more seen in old people due to loneliness.
In addition
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 , it will
also
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distrub
Correct your spelling
disturb

The word distrub is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

the economical stability of
particular
Add an article
the particular

The noun phrase particular region seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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 region. As 90 per cent of
rural
Add an article
the rural

The noun phrase rural population seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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 population will not be able to perform jobs
which
Correct pronoun usage
that

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 needs physical strength and power
such
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 as farming and cattle farming which leads to capital loss. Development of villages stops after
certain
Correct article usage
a certain

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 time resulting in
lack
Correct article usage
a lack

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 of good infrastructure and transport.
Furthmore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore

The word Furthmore is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

, these
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types

It seems that type may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 of locations will become more prone
for
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 catching infections due to
lack
Correct article usage
the lack

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 of
health
Correct article usage
a health

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 care
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems

It seems that system may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. To conclude,
although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 moving of
college going
Add a hyphen
college-going

It appears that college going is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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 individuals to towns has
it
Change the pronoun
its

It appears that the personal pronoun it should be in the possessive form. Consider changing it.

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 own pros. But, various negative impacts on aged people are more which should not be ignored.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • migration
  • economic opportunities
  • urban areas
  • rural industries
  • cultural heritage
  • overpopulation
  • infrastructure
  • healthcare facilities
  • educational institutions
  • neglect
  • workforce
  • traditional cultures
  • customs
  • pollution
  • support systems
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