Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in the countryside. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#people #countryside #cities #towns #development

Nowadays, it is becoming a trend that 19 to 30-year-olds would like to go to an urban area to live and work, and leaving old

people

in the rural areas because there are more

job

opportunities and entertainment in the

city

. I firmly believe that young

people

relocate to cities which is a more positive development. The reasons are shown in the forthcoming paragraph. There are some positive development if they move to the

city

firstly

, living in a new

city

that is

far away from home, which can improve their independent capacity and develop money management.

For example

, young fellows have to look for a place to live and find a

job

by themselves,

instead

of staying with parents’ house and asking for a

job

from their parents.

Furthermore

, young

people

have more chances to meet new friends in the

city

and broaden their horizons.

For example

, generally speaking, when they meet the difficulty related to life,

job

, and money, parents cannot show up or help them as soon as possible, friends always provide a shoulder to help you, whatever in the mental or physical aspect.

Moreover

, there are more entertainments in the

city

such

as facilities, clubs, pubs. They can go there after work to get mental release.

However

, there are some disadvantages that leaving elderly folks in the

countryside

Firstly

, Their loneliness of them will increase, which may cause mental problems.

In addition

, Some of them cannot take care of themselves,

therefore

young

people

have to send them to aged care and visit them frequently.

Lastly

, the

countryside

would like to develop the economy but there is a shortage of labour in the

countryside

as young

people

move to urban areas. In summary,

this

is a good thing that young

people

chase their dream in the big

city

, but they still have to take care of elder

people

who live in the

countryside

In addition

, the government should think about that how to overcome

this

issue of the shortage of workers in the

countryside

Submitted by jasmineloveyou414 on Wed Dec 29 2021

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

338 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

migration
economic opportunities
urban areas
rural industries
cultural heritage
overpopulation
infrastructure
healthcare facilities
educational institutions
neglect
workforce
traditional cultures
customs
pollution
support systems

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