IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people think that children under 18 years old should receive full-time education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #children #years #education
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The question as to whether or not to force
children
Use synonyms
 under the age of eighteen to obtain a full-time
education
Use synonyms
 program sparked intense debate recently. While many people claim that it is compulsory for students to study full time, I am not convinced that
this
Linking Words
 issue is not suitable in modern society to some extent.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, full-time
education
Use synonyms
 has an injurious influence on
children
Use synonyms
’s mentality. Students are at the risk of being overwhelmed as there is too much information to absorb. Each individual has their abilities to study
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 so that they are unable to take in a large amount of knowledge, which may lead to misunderstanding of
education
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
parents
Use synonyms
 may put a lot of academic pressure on their own
children
Use synonyms
. They have more tendency to cause psychological problems
such
Linking Words
 as depression, sleeplessness, intense stress, etc.
This
Linking Words
 is a state of emergency and the only solution is that adults need to care more about the
children
Use synonyms
 than putting pressure on them
In addition
Linking Words
, while receiving full-time
education
Use synonyms
 will open up numerous opportunities in many fields of life, it is still a financial burden for those who cannot afford high tuition.
For example
Linking Words
, as most South Asian countries are agriculture, in some rural areas,
children
Use synonyms
 have to lend a hand working on a farm with their
parents
Use synonyms
 to acquire a likelihood.
However
Linking Words
, the money they earn from farming is not enough to obtain their
children
Use synonyms
 a full-time
education
Use synonyms
 program as they have to pay enormous amounts of money for fees
such
Linking Words
 as the cost of tax, insurance cost, etc. It may place a level of draining financial resources on some non-resident
parents
Use synonyms
 that restricts their capacity to have adequate enlightenment of their offspring. All things considered, the obvious conclusion to be drawn is that despite the fact that full-time
education
Use synonyms
 for
children
Use synonyms
 under the age of eighteen has great impacts on their future lives, its negative aspects still need to be considered thoroughly as the benefits cannot outweigh those drawbacks at all. As far as I am concerned,
parents
Use synonyms
 should contemplate before registering for
this
Linking Words
 enlightenment program.
Submitted by doibichhoa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: