IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people think that the best way to reduce the time spent travelling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city center with apartment buildings for commuters, but others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #time #work #parks #gardens #city #center #apartment #buildings #commuters
There are conflicting that residence buildings for workers should be constructed in
parks
 and
gardens
 nearby
city
centre
instead
 of long commutes.
This
 essay will discuss both sides of the argument and prove my opinion at the end. On the one hand, it is a good idea that set up apartments in
parks
 and
gardens
 close
city
centre
. The idea would make that society can save many times to travel forth and back to work. The commuters would use the time for self-improvement or with their family and their friends by shorter distances to work.
In addition
, it is possible
apply
Add the particle
to apply
show examples
 that the workers could reduce their stress because normally, people get stressed by commuting.
On the other hand
, generally, it can not make sure that the people can live at the apartment building which is located in
parks
 and
gardens
 around the
city
centre
. Generally, the people who live around sub-region areas have a budget issue to live around the
city
centre
. Even, destroying
gardens
 and
parks
 would trigger environmental issues as well. Recently protecting the natural environment comes to the fore in the world for stopping pollution. In conclusion, it is true that constructing apartments in
parks
 and
gardens
 nearby the
city
centre
instead
 of long commuting is a good opinion but, the way gives harmful consequences of the natural environment, and
also
 I agree that it is not the best concept, and we can substitute other ideas.
for example
, developing subway or build new bridges for a shorter distance to access to cities.
Submitted by leocook1988 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • commuters
  • urban areas
  • housing availability
  • alleviating housing crises
  • public transport
  • traffic congestion
  • environmental health
  • biodiversity
  • recreational
  • mental health benefits
  • urban heat islands
  • green lungs
  • community interaction
  • cohesion
  • innovative urban planning
  • multi-use buildings
What to do next:
Look at other essays: