It is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence in the media. Do you agree that this is the main cause of juvenile crime? What solutions can you offer to deal with this situation?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays,
teenager
Replace the word
teenage
show examples
crime
Use synonyms
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
been increased and some claim that it is contributed to violence in televisions, movies and social
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
. In my view, it may be one of the reasons,
however
Linking Words
, it is not the main cause of juvenile
crime
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
, family background is vitally important in youth development.
Living
Add an article
The living
show examples
environment usually directly affect youngsters'
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
. Some social research
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
indicated that youth
crime
Use synonyms
in poor cities are twice of rich cities because poverty
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
usually the cause of
crime
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, parents should have
share
Change the verb form
shared
show examples
the appropriate value
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
their
offisprings
Correct your spelling
offsprings
offspring
offerings
. Most of the
children
Use synonyms
gain their knowledge and attitude from their parents while they grow up.
For instance
Linking Words
, if one's father
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
Correct your spelling
criminal
crimial
Correct article usage
a crimial
show examples
, his
children
Use synonyms
are likely to
committ
Correct your spelling
commit
crime
Use synonyms
too as he might misunderstand the correct
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
Finally
Linking Words
,
media
Correct article usage
the media
show examples
should take part
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
responsiblity
Correct your spelling
responsibility
as nowadays some movies and television dramas contain
violence
Replace the word
violent
show examples
scenses
Correct your spelling
scenes
senses
which sometimes have
labelled
Add a missing verb
been labelled
show examples
as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
heroic
action
Fix the agreement mistake
actions
show examples
,
as a result
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
will act the same
like
Replace the word
as
show examples
they do. To deal with
this
Linking Words
situation, I believe that we should start with educating the right values while
children
Use synonyms
are growing up. Schools and parents should act as a role to demonstrate the right values by learning about law and justice. What's more, for some under-
privillaged
Correct your spelling
privileged
areas,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
should recruit more
polices
Correct your spelling
policies
show examples
to keep
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
in order
andLast
Correct your spelling
and last
but not least,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
should set rules and regulations to restrict the violent
scenses
Correct your spelling
scenes
senses
in media,
for instance
Linking Words
, aged under 12 should not watch specific types of movies.
Last
Linking Words
but not le
Submitted by tsoiwingtung24 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
    What to do next:
    Look at other essays: