In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend have more positive or negative effects on the society?

#countries #proportion #people #trend #effects #society

With the advancement of technology, the death rate is decreasing and more people are staying healthy even in the older age

hence

increasing aged persons in society. Some believe that it has a positive impact while others are saying the opposite to it. In

this

essay, I will discuss both views and explain why it has more advantages than disadvantages. The

First

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first

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major benefit of having

elder

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an elder

the elder

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person at home is the responsibility. While youngsters are out for their work, grandparents would be able to look after the children. The working generation can work without bothering about their kids and their activity classes.

For example

, nowadays kids have to attend multiple classes like Zumba, swimming other than school. Grandparents can help them with pick-up and drop-off facilities in the absence of their parents. Another reason is that they provide security and

this

keeps robbers away by knowing that someone is at home.

Hence

the presence of retired individuals provides a great benefit to society.

On the other hand

, elders are putting pressure on their elderly care especially when they fall sick and their son or daughter is working overseas.

For example

, the father of my best friend is living alone because his son is working abroad.

Although

he is sending sufficient funds for his survival he needs to hire a nurse which is not easily available every time. The rising population of

this

generation is

also

resulting in fewer working

employes

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employees

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and a more retired generation. Because employers have

the

Correct article usage

apply

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openings for

fresh

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the fresh

show examples

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

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rather than old people. In conclusion,

Although

there are some negative points of having a growing population of old people like elderly care and less number of the working population. Availability of grandparents helps in many ways like child care and home safety.

Therefore

advantages outweigh the disadvantages of elders in society.

Submitted by davinderkaur3190 on Wed Dec 29 2021

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

306 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend have more positive or negative effects on the society?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Children today play very violent games. This must be the reason for the increase in violence and crime in most major cities of the word. What are your opinions on this:

The world is consuming natural resources faster than they can be renewed. Therefore, it is important that products are made to last. Governments should discourage people from constantly buying more up-to-date or fashionable products. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

More and more people are moving to cities to look for work. What are the problems does this cause? What are the possible solutions?

Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?