Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems.Sugar products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #people

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The majority of food companies incorporate with

high

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a high

the high

show examples

sugar

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content of

sugar

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product

Fix the agreement mistake

products

show examples

which they manufactured. Because of that reason,

people

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tend to get those

products

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without avoiding healthy facts.Sugary

products

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must be manufactured more expensive

in-order

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in order

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to motivate

people

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to buy less

sugar

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. I strongly

aggree

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agree

with

this

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statement and will discuss it

further

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

eassay

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essay

. Many

people

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tend

Add the particle

totend

show examples

buy quick,processed foods for their meals and snacks.Those

products

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often contain added

sugar

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Furthermore

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,many experts believe that increase

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show examples

consumption

sugar

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intake

many

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may

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arise obesity, diabetes and heart problems.

In addition

Linking Words

to that most of the younger generation are affected according to the

resarch

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research

. So government should take action

for

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show examples

prevent

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preventing

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this

Linking Words

such

Linking Words

increase

Wrong verb form

increasing

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the cost of

products

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or request to manufacturers to make foods more healthy way.

Secondly

Linking Words

,the government should encourage

the

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apply

show examples

people

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to have healthy foods

instead

Linking Words

of having instant food and beverage.

Otherone

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Other one

is manufacture need to show the consumption of

sugar

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presentage

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percentage

with

colour

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the colour

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red, yellow, green on

lable

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label

of product.

Then

Linking Words

it would be easier to get information about added

sugar

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products

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and will help to get

most

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the most

a most

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suitable item.

Furthermore

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the authority

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authority

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authorities

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should share the information through flyers, radio.

Healthy

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A healthy

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lifestyle is the one factor which

is consider

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is considered

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development

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the development

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of the country.

Therefore

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high consumption of

sugar

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added

products

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will put

people

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life

Replace the word

lives

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at risk. In conclusion, government and public authority must play a significant role to motivate

people

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to live

healthy

Add an article

a healthy

show examples

life with

balance

Correct article usage

a balance

show examples

diet.

Submitted by priyankamiriyagalla on Wed Dec 29 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

241 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

health problems
manufactured food and drink products
sugary products
excessive sugar consumption
discourage
promote
healthier choices
reduce
increased taxes
fund
health education
prevention programs

What to do next:

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Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems.Sugar products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people think governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems to help people to prevent illness and disease

While many people go to university for academic study, more people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. Do you agree or disagree?