People live longer today and so people should stay in the workforce. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

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Life expectancy has been rising across the world

as a result

Linking Words

of qualified healthcare. Improved medical care has ensured

people

Use synonyms

overcome long-term diseases like diabetes,

cardiak

Correct your spelling

cardiac

disease, and cancer which have decreased their quality of life.

As a result

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

have lived longer and healthier than before.

Although

Linking Words

it sounds sympathetic, it

also

Linking Words

has

unfavorable

Change the spelling

unfavourable

show examples

results. Many

people

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who are in their elder years could spend their time useful and contribute to society

instead

Linking Words

of trying to stabilize their chronic disease.

People

Use synonyms

who retire young can continue to work and produce something for more years rather than being a consumer.

In addition

Linking Words

, older

people

Use synonyms

can spend more time with their families and grandchildren. To be more precise, Working parents can leave their children to their grandparents safely while at work.

Therefore

Linking Words

, children can learn about traditions, values and history from their seniors.

This

Linking Words

learning is important for shaping society to be strong.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, increasing lifespan means more population burden and medical expenses. In fact, there are limited sources in the world for humanity and there must be a balance in the natality and mortality rate for the measurable resources to be sufficient for humans. Prolongation of the average lifetime could lead to starvation and poverty.

Therefore

Linking Words

, medical care tools are

also

Linking Words

limited for a certain number of

people

Use synonyms

. Some

people

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may have to face the problem of not getting the necessary medical care. In conclusion, longer lifespans have some

favorable

Change the spelling

favourable

show examples

results like that older

people

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could live more time productively and they could make a great contribution to future society by effecting their grandchildren. It

also

Linking Words

has some unfavourable outcomes like being a burden for the government and

world

Correct article usage

the world

show examples

. In my opinion,

unfavorable

Change the spelling

unfavourable

show examples

outcomes are more important than others.

evrim_bayrak60Wed Dec 29 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

291 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

life expectancy
financial resources
retirement fund
cognitive functions
social interaction
wealth of experience
expertise
social security systems
dependency ratio
employers
adapt workplaces
job retraining
flexible working hours

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People live longer today and so people should stay in the workforce. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people argue that it is the responsibility of the police to educate children about good behavior, whereas others believe that parents should be responsible for children. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, a growing number ofpeople with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

You have been staying in a foreign country for the last two years, and your visa is about to expire next June. However, you are planning to take a three-months professional course. You will need a visa extension. Write a letter to the consular in the embassy and ask for an extension on your visa.

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?