Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Modern technology is creating a single world culture. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

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When it
terms
Verb problem
comes to
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culture
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,
people
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will be more similar to each other in the new world.With enhancing media platforms citizens all over the globe introduce their traditional events which help them to know other
cultures
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.I agree with
this
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statement and in
this
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essay talk about the reasons. After the
industrial
Capitalize word
Industrial
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,revolution western
countries
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offered their own
culture
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to other
people
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which
Correct pronoun usage
who
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were in far lands.
However
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,in recent ,decades individuals
find
Wrong verb form
have found
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the internet as a convenient way that
connects
Wrong verb form
connect
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them around the world.
For example
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,
people
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from China show their
new year
Correct your spelling
New Year
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dance to others in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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African
countries
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which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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them aware of
this
Linking Words
ceremony.
As a result
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,
people
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will learn about various
cultures
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and even choose the strongest ones that are attractive in some ways. I think the government and politicians try to tend their
people
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to be at peace with other areas in the world
consequently
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,the authorities set up some programs which encourage notions to follow specific
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countries
Change noun form
countries'
country's
show examples
Use synonyms
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
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.It is a clear policy in Middle Eastern
countries
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which
Change preposition
in which
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the government like families modify their traditional events to mimic Western
cultures
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.
For instance
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,we celebrated Christmas in Iran simultaneously with the Western notion.
Also
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, paying attention to old traditions is crucial for teaching children to save their national identity . In conclusion,
people
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are influenced by other
cultures
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for many reasons.
Although
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,globalization is one of the important things there are some international concepts that involve families and ministerial organizations to speed up that .
People
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and the government should care for
ancestors
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ancestors'
ancestor's
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identity
while
Linking Words
trying to open the borders for foreign citizens to be familiar with our
culture
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by rezakiannejad on

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task response
The essay addresses the topic and provides relevant examples, but the ideas are not sufficiently clear and comprehensive. The essay lacks a clear focus and the examples provided are not fully developed.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a basic logical structure and includes an introduction and conclusion. However, the progression of ideas within paragraphs and throughout the essay is not always clear. There is a need for more cohesive devices to improve the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.
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