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Band 4.5

Some think increasing business and cultural contact between nations is positive. Others think it leads to the disappearance of the national identity. Discuss both views and state your own opinion

#think #business #contact #nations #disappearance #identity
Some
people
 believe that increasing business and cultural contact between
countries
 are positive and have a positive effect on
nations
.
However
, some other
people
 think those lead to the disappearance of the national identity. In the forthcoming paragraph, I shall explain my thoughts in detail.
To begin
 with, I disagree with
this
 theory that increasing
relations
 and cultural contacts between
nations
 can lead to the disappearance of the national identity in some
countries
. Whereas
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 I suppose by increasing businesses and
relations
 between
countries
, they can improve their own abilities.
For example
, a majority of
people
 can connect to other
people
 from different
countries
 and increase their level of
cultures
Fix the agreement mistake
culture
show examples
. By spreading their cultures to other
nations
 they can achieve more incomes and the level of financial life will be increased.
For instance
, if tourists go to their
countries
, they can sell them their foods or handmade things
such
 as handicrafts.
Additionally
, if governments have more
relations
 with each other,
finally
 their good
relations
 can affect their future. They can improve their export and import which are an effect on their society. To conclude
this
 essay, I suppose if we change our goals and increase businesses, and cultural contact with other
countries
 and
nations
,
therefore
, we can receive more
incomes
Fix the agreement mistake
income
show examples
.
Submitted by shayan.rahimi92 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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