IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some think increasing business and cultural contact between nations is positive. Others think it leads to the disappearance of the national identity. Discuss both views and state your own opinion

#think #business #contact #nations #disappearance #identity
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that increasing business and cultural contact between
countries
Use synonyms
 are positive and have a positive effect on
nations
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, some other
people
Use synonyms
 think those lead to the disappearance of the national identity. In the forthcoming paragraph, I shall explain my thoughts in detail.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 theory that increasing
relations
Use synonyms
 and cultural contacts between
nations
Use synonyms
 can lead to the disappearance of the national identity in some
countries
Use synonyms
. Whereas
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 I suppose by increasing businesses and
relations
Use synonyms
 between
countries
Use synonyms
, they can improve their own abilities.
For example
Linking Words
, a majority of
people
Use synonyms
 can connect to other
people
Use synonyms
 from different
countries
Use synonyms
 and increase their level of
cultures
Fix the agreement mistake
culture
show examples
. By spreading their cultures to other
nations
Use synonyms
 they can achieve more incomes and the level of financial life will be increased.
For instance
Linking Words
, if tourists go to their
countries
Use synonyms
, they can sell them their foods or handmade things
such
Linking Words
 as handicrafts.
Additionally
Linking Words
, if governments have more
relations
Use synonyms
 with each other,
finally
Linking Words
 their good
relations
Use synonyms
 can affect their future. They can improve their export and import which are an effect on their society. To conclude
this
Linking Words
 essay, I suppose if we change our goals and increase businesses, and cultural contact with other
countries
Use synonyms
 and
nations
Use synonyms
,
therefore
Linking Words
, we can receive more
incomes
Fix the agreement mistake
income
show examples
.
Submitted by shayan.rahimi92 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: