IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The dangers of smoking are well known, yet many people continue with this habit. What are the causes of this? How can we reduce smoking in society? Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#dangers #people #habit #society
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Many
people
Use synonyms
 continue their smoking habit after knowing the dangers of it. There are many causes of
consumption
Correct article usage
the consumption
show examples
 of
cigarette
Fix the agreement mistake
cigarettes
show examples
.
Such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 lungs
cancer
Use synonyms
, mouth
cancer
Use synonyms
, throat
cancer
Use synonyms
 and many other major diseases.
People
Use synonyms
 smoke cigarettes just because they are very much addicted
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 it and some youngsters smoke
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 for
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 fun or relaxation. But they do not know the actual dangers
cause
Wrong verb form
caused
show examples
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
cigarette
Fix the agreement mistake
cigarettes
show examples
.
Nicotin
Correct your spelling
Nicotine
 - a drug uses in
making
Correct article usage
the making
show examples
 of
cigarette
Fix the agreement mistake
cigarettes
show examples
 which can easily addict humans, and because of that drug
people
Use synonyms
 continue smoking and it affects starting from
thier
Correct your spelling
their
the
 mouth to lungs which can lead them to the deadliest
diseases
Fix the agreement mistake
disease
show examples
 called
cancer
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, there are many ways
people
Use synonyms
 can quit their smoking habit. But
Linking Words
first
Add a comma
,first
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 should be mentally strong, they should be involved in
such
Linking Words
 activities and they should be very much concerned about their health.
Secondly
Linking Words
, there are many products are available in the market which can help
people
Use synonyms
 to reduce their smoking habit.
Also
Linking Words
, there are certain fruits do the same effect
over
Change preposition
as
show examples
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 to quit smoking.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Government should ban tobacco products and fine charges if
people
Use synonyms
 still continue
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 use. Smoking is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 major issue in
this
Linking Words
 world nowadays. In the recent survey, it has announced that 85% population in
this
Linking Words
 world smokes cigarettes on
their
Change the word
a
show examples
 daily basis and 58% of
them
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
dead
Replace the word
died
show examples
 because of
lungs
Fix the agreement mistake
lung
show examples
 and throat
cancer
Use synonyms
.
People
Use synonyms
 should understand the value of their lives and try not to smoke and
also
Linking Words
 help others too for the same thing.
Submitted by Misha on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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