Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others, however, say that cooperation and team working skills are more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Nowadays, teaching students to be competing at school is debatable. Many people argue that children are required to be trained competitively at school,
while
others
believe that being cooperative and having good
team working
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
skills are more valuable.
This
essay will discuss both ideas and give my personal opinion regarding the views. On the one
hand
, many people believe that young learners are needed to be taught as competitive students.
This
is because being competitive may help them to survive their
life
in the
future
.
For example
, I have a brother
how
Correct word choice
who
show examples
has been spoiled by my parents since he was a child,
as a result
, in his adult
life
he is incapable of making decisions without
parents
Correct pronoun usage
his parents
show examples
.
Therefore
, it is crucial to train children to be independent and competitive at a young age.
On the other
hand
,
others
think that
team working
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
and working together skills are more beneficial for pupils to survive in their
future
social
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. Teaching young learners to be able to work
hand
in
hand
with
others
is deemed to be helpful to live
Correct article usage
a
show examples
social
life
in the
future
.
For instance
, when a friend of mine was having depression, he did not know
one
Correct pronoun usage
anyone
show examples
who
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
solve the problem.
Thus
, learning how to be sociable and cooperative with other people can solve at least one of one’s issues. In conclusion,
although
some individuals argue that working competitively sounds like a safer option for survival,
others
are convinced that being cooperative will
also
help kids to live better. In my personal view, I believe that having both skills will give the best outcome for children to survive in
their
Change the word
the
show examples
future
.
Submitted by andri.saputraozz on

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task response
The essay addresses both sides of the argument and gives a personal opinion, fulfilling the task requirement.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both sides, and a conclusion. The ideas are presented logically and cohesively.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • strive
  • healthy competition
  • real-world competition
  • excessive
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • win-at-all-costs
  • detrimental
  • character development
  • empathy
  • communication skills
  • group efforts
  • individual talents
  • self-reliance
  • independence
  • balanced approach
  • competitive learning environments
  • cooperative learning environments
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