Some people think that in this modern world, getting old is entirely bad. However, other people believe that the life of old people is much better now than it was in the past. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Getting old is a natural stage for all human beings. Some people will see it as a bad thing

along with

physical restraint and change of appearance.

Whereas

, the other argued that the elderly in the modern generation can have a better life quality. In the following essay, both sides of view will be examined and given

Change preposition

apply

show examples

my personal opinion on

this

matter. First of all, many

mid-aged

Correct your spelling

middle-aged

show examples

adults believe that ageing will bring them burdens in terms of health conditions and earning capacity. Many elderly are suffering from different diseases,

for example

, knee pain and organ failure, which might lead to a more serious condition.

Furthermore

, the elderly aged above 65

needs

Fix the agreement mistake

need

show examples

to retire

according to

the law. Employers are unlikely to hire

this

group of people because they have to pay more for medical benefits and insurance

while

the salary rate is sometimes higher, compared with the youths.

However

, living in

this

generation,

although

the abovementioned circumstances still exist, the social supports by the government and organisations are more comprehensive. Hospitals and healthcare systems are developed to handle the growing population of old people.

For example

, care centres are designed to serve underprivileged elderly and elderly who

lives

Correct subject-verb agreement

live

show examples

alone.

Moreover

, there are many local amenities provided by non-profit organisations,

such

as local centres, where they will regularly host leisure and educational events,

for instance

, teaching them how to use smartphones. Generally speaking, despite the change

Change preposition

show examples

body conditions

can

Correct pronoun usage

that can

show examples

not be avoided when you get older, benefits and

welfares

Fix the agreement mistake

welfare

show examples

from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

modern society are doing good to maintain certain life qualities of the elderly.

Therefore

, the elderly in

this

era are living much better than in the past.

Submitted by tsoiwingtung24 on Thu Dec 30 2021

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coherence cohesion

The introduction should include a clear thesis statement.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion could be stronger by summarizing the main points and restating the opinion.

lexical resource

Use more varied and precise vocabulary to enhance your essay.

grammatical range accuracy

The grammatical range and accuracy is mostly good, but watch out for some errors in subject-verb agreement.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

281 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

elderly
modern world
decline
physical
mental health
diseases
disabilities
social isolation
loneliness
access
healthcare
medications
lifelong learning
personal growth
social support
community engagement
positive aspects
negative aspects

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Some people think that in this modern world, getting old is entirely bad. However, other people believe that the life of old people is much better now than it was in the past. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Write about the following topic Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep? Give reasons for your answer

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Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In some societies the number of crimes committed by teenagers is growing. What are the reasons for this trend? And what possible solutions could reduce this issue?