IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In this 21st century , modern technology has lept the way into every s

In
this
Linking Words
 21st century , modern
technology
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 has left the way for every good
things
Change to a singular noun
thing
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 in human life where some
people
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 knock that the range of
technology
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 available for
people
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 is rising the gap between the wealthy and poor persons but others think that it has reversed which I will
disscuss
Correct your spelling
discuss
 in my upcoming paragraphs. To address with, poor persons get education easily with the development of
technology
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 because of the internet provides a bulk of educational websites and applications for free of costs where poor students can easily get more
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
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 about the particular field of education.
for instance
Linking Words
, according to a recent survey, nowadays, most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
people
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 use
internet
Add an article
the internet
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 just to know about their educations
in
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apply
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free of cost.
secondly
Linking Words
, after the invention of mobile
Phones
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phones
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 and
computers
Add a comma
,computers
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 rural areas are becoming part of the global Villages and they can communicate all over the world with the advancement of
technology
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as a result
Linking Words
 , it is very beneficial for
people
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's life.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
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 on the other
side
Add a comma
,side
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 some
people
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 think that
rich
Correct article usage
the rich
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 have more
beneficial
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benefits
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 to have
the
Correct article usage
apply
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modern science.
firstly
Linking Words
, wealthy
people
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 have gotten the most effective treatments of diseases with the help of modern types of machines there are many diseases like cancer, heart transplants and more which are very expensive to treat by
advancement
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the advancement
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 of medical machines it is only affordable for the wealthy
people
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inspite
Correct your spelling
in spite
 of
this
Linking Words
, more luxurious goods are being produced by different companies because of rich
people
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 have more choices of buying those items. I believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 modern science improved the lifestyles of both the personalities in my opinion recent
technology
Use synonyms
 has increased the gap between rich and poor.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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