IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people say that public sports facilities improve people health problems. Others argue that this development has insignificant effects on public health. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #sports #facilities #health #development #effects
While some
citizens
 argue that the provision of public
sports
 facilities has
tremendous
Add an article
a tremendous
show examples
 effect on improving public
health
,others,
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 contrast,think that it has no considerable impact on the
health
 of general
citizens
.
This
 essay examines both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
views and explains why I think the need for
physical
Correct article usage
a physical
show examples
facility
Fix the agreement mistake
facilities
show examples
 is incredibly important. On one hand,many
citizens
 and I believe that the development of
centre
Add an article
a centre
the centre
show examples
 for physical activities can have
considerable
Add an article
a considerable
show examples
 effect on the mind and body well-being of individuals.If
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
access to facilities
such
 as tennis,badminton and other
sports
 are provided
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 an affordable,reasonable price,people do not fear to
step-out
Correct your spelling
step out
show examples
 to spend their
time
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
exercising.
For example
,any free or cost-effective provisions,motivate dwellers to challenge their comfort zone.
As a result
,the major cause of obesity,which is, less bodily movements can be eliminated.So,the
health
 complications can be minimised to a greater extent.
On the other hand
,few others defend that there is no need for any capital investment
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 physical activity centres.For these people,the
citizens
 of the nation have no
time
,amidst their tightly packed work schedule.Despite the construction of
greatly
Correct article usage
a greatly
show examples
 attractive
sports
 facility,non-availability of
time
 will only result in
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
show examples
 loss of money. Evidently,individuals do not find
time
 to stand and stare,or
in other words
,more specifically, the
sports
 buildings are no benefit for
general
Add an article
the general
show examples
 public.
Instead
,more awareness can be instigated for the reduced intake of junk and unhealthy products. In conclusion,despite the belief of few that funding in
sports
 wouldn’t benefit human society as there is not enough
time
 for them to utilise the facility,like many others,I strongly agree with the plan of introducing recreational centres for the
health
 benefits of all.
Therefore
,it is strongly recommended for the emergence of leisure activities.
Submitted by geetha.avsp on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!