IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people say that public sports facilities improve people health problems. Others argue that this development has insignificant effects on public health. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #sports #facilities #health #development #effects
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While some
citizens
 argue that the provision of public
sports
 facilities has
tremendous
Add an article
a tremendous
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 effect on improving public
health
,others,
on
Change preposition
in
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 contrast,think that it has no considerable impact on the
health
 of general
citizens
.
This
 essay examines both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
views and explains why I think the need for
physical
Correct article usage
a physical
show examples
facility
Fix the agreement mistake
facilities
show examples
 is incredibly important. On one hand,many
citizens
 and I believe that the development of
centre
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a centre
the centre
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 for physical activities can have
considerable
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a considerable
show examples
 effect on the mind and body well-being of individuals.If
the
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apply
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access to facilities
such
 as tennis,badminton and other
sports
 are provided
in
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at
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 an affordable,reasonable price,people do not fear to
step-out
Correct your spelling
step out
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 to spend their
time
for
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apply
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exercising.
For example
,any free or cost-effective provisions,motivate dwellers to challenge their comfort zone.
As a result
,the major cause of obesity,which is, less bodily movements can be eliminated.So,the
health
 complications can be minimised to a greater extent.
On the other hand
,few others defend that there is no need for any capital investment
on
Change preposition
in
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 physical activity centres.For these people,the
citizens
 of the nation have no
time
,amidst their tightly packed work schedule.Despite the construction of
greatly
Correct article usage
a greatly
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 attractive
sports
 facility,non-availability of
time
 will only result in
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
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 loss of money. Evidently,individuals do not find
time
 to stand and stare,or
in other words
,more specifically, the
sports
 buildings are no benefit for
general
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the general
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 public.
Instead
,more awareness can be instigated for the reduced intake of junk and unhealthy products. In conclusion,despite the belief of few that funding in
sports
 wouldn’t benefit human society as there is not enough
time
 for them to utilise the facility,like many others,I strongly agree with the plan of introducing recreational centres for the
health
 benefits of all.
Therefore
,it is strongly recommended for the emergence of leisure activities.
Submitted by geetha.avsp on

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