IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people say that public sports facilities improve people health problems. Others argue that this development has insignificant effects on public health. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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While some
citizens
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 argue that the provision of public
sports
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 facilities has
tremendous
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a tremendous
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 effect on improving public
health
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,others,
on
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in
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 contrast,think that it has no considerable impact on the
health
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 of general
citizens
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.
This
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 essay examines both
the
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apply
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views and explains why I think the need for
physical
Correct article usage
a physical
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facility
Fix the agreement mistake
facilities
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 is incredibly important. On one hand,many
citizens
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 and I believe that the development of
centre
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a centre
the centre
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 for physical activities can have
considerable
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a considerable
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 effect on the mind and body well-being of individuals.If
the
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apply
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access to facilities
such
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 as tennis,badminton and other
sports
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 are provided
in
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at
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 an affordable,reasonable price,people do not fear to
step-out
Correct your spelling
step out
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 to spend their
time
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for
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apply
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exercising.
For example
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,any free or cost-effective provisions,motivate dwellers to challenge their comfort zone.
As a result
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,the major cause of obesity,which is, less bodily movements can be eliminated.So,the
health
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 complications can be minimised to a greater extent.
On the other hand
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,few others defend that there is no need for any capital investment
on
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in
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 physical activity centres.For these people,the
citizens
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 of the nation have no
time
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,amidst their tightly packed work schedule.Despite the construction of
greatly
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a greatly
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 attractive
sports
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 facility,non-availability of
time
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 will only result in
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
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 loss of money. Evidently,individuals do not find
time
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 to stand and stare,or
in other words
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,more specifically, the
sports
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 buildings are no benefit for
general
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the general
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 public.
Instead
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,more awareness can be instigated for the reduced intake of junk and unhealthy products. In conclusion,despite the belief of few that funding in
sports
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 wouldn’t benefit human society as there is not enough
time
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 for them to utilise the facility,like many others,I strongly agree with the plan of introducing recreational centres for the
health
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 benefits of all.
Therefore
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,it is strongly recommended for the emergence of leisure activities.

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