Some people think that the government is wasting money on arts and that this money could be better spent elswhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?

#people #government #money #arts #elswhere

The

government

spent a budget on the arts and galleries. Some

people

believe that

this

money

should be spent on other much

improtant

Correct your spelling

important

things. I take the view that the

government

should

spent

Change the verb form

spend

show examples

that

money

on helping

poors

Correct your spelling

poor

, creating jobs and doing the maintenance for the roads

instead

spent

Change the form of the verb

spending

show examples

it on the

art

First

of all, solving the

proveity

Correct your spelling

poverty

property

and the poorness is much

improtant

Correct your spelling

important

than making exhibits. There are many

people

struggling with finding their essential

life-needs

Correct your spelling

life needs

show examples

such

as food, houses and even water in some serious cases. The

money

that some countries spent on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

art

can help those

people

to have

Change the article

show examples

aligible

Correct your spelling

eligible

life

Moreover

, as a human, it is our

responsibity

Correct your spelling

responsibility

to help each

others

Change to a singular noun

other

show examples

Thus

, the

art

money

should

goes

Change the verb form

show examples

to our poor brothers.

Second

of all, there are many unemployees nowadays, and

this

phenomenon begins to

creat

Correct your spelling

create

show examples

several problems

such

as thefs, depression and deaths in some

casses

Correct your spelling

cases

Therefore

, it is really

improtant

Correct your spelling

important

to find

solution

Add an article

a solution

the solution

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

this

issue.

Furthermore

, an

allocted

Correct your spelling

allocated

allotted

budget to

provieds

Correct your spelling

provides

provide

jobs for more

people

is a possible way to tackle

this

problem.

Government

should prioritize

this

issue over the

art

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and put the

art

's budget on creating new jobs to make

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

life

better for those

people

Third

of all, there are many roads

are

Correct pronoun usage

that are

show examples

not

suffition

Correct your spelling

sufficient

which cause accidents and deaths sometimes.

Furthermore

proticting

Correct your spelling

protecting

people

life

is much

improtant

Correct your spelling

important

than making other

people

have fun form the

art

Therefore

government

suppose to put the

art

's allocated

money

fiexing

Correct your spelling

fixing

the roads. In conclusion, it is true that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

art

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

a difference and

Correct your spelling

plus

plusser

Change the word

more plus

show examples

people

life

Replace the word

lives

show examples

, but there are

much

Change the quantifier

many

show examples

important things that

government

should

spent

Change the verb form

spend

show examples

money

on due to the

different

Replace the word

differences

show examples

that those things can make in our

life

Submitted by munirah1056a2 on Thu Dec 30 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
35Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

294 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that the government is wasting money on arts and that this money could be better spent elswhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Too much emphasis is given for education of the young. More government money should be spent to free time activity of young people. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Being overweight has become a major health concern in many parts of the world. Explain the causes for being overweight and provide solutions.

Discuss the importance of art education in schools. How does exposure to art impact students’ creativity and overall development?

Should education and healthcare be free of charge and funded by the government, or should it be the responsibility of the people to pay for these services?

Some people believe that it is better to live and work in a vertical city with multiple tall buildings, as compared to a horizontal city with fewer tall buildings. Discuss both views and give your opinion.