IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

The dangers of smoking are well known, yet many people continue with this habit. What are the causes of this? How can we reduce smoking in society? Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#dangers #people #habit #society
Smoking is injurious to
humans
Replace the word
human
show examples
 health, After knowing
this
 danger
people
 still continue their smoking
habit
. The causes and
decrease
Fix the agreement mistake
decreases
show examples
 of it will be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs. Nowadays,
People
 are easily get stressed due to workload, hectic lifestyle, family issues, responsibilities, etc. These reasons cause smoking just to get out of that stress for a short period of time.
Secondly
, many
people
 are addicted to it because they have gained their smoking
habit
since
Change preposition
for
show examples
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
 long because they have started smoking from
their
Change the word
an
show examples
 early age. It is
also
 observed that teenagers
also
smoke
 just to prove themselves cool to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society or just for their fun but they are not aware that
this
 can lead them to the very major issues.
In addition
, it is
also
 heard that some
people
 are forced to
smoke
 by
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 colleagues or friends and
this
 is how
people
 gain their smoking
habit
.
However
, there are many ways
people
 can quit their smoking
habit
. But
first
Add a comma
,first
show examples
 they should be mentally strong because all temptations start from our brain
first
, and to avoid that they should be involved in
such
 activities, yoga, gym, meditation, etc.
Furthermore
, there are many products are available in the market which can help
people
 to reduce their smoking
habit
.
Also
, there are certain fruits do the same effect
over
Change preposition
as
show examples
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 to quit smoking. Over and above that, Government
also
 prints or advertises the danger of smoking on the packets of cigarettes or before the starting of movies in theatres to spread awareness in
people
. Apart from that,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should
also
limite
Correct your spelling
limit
 the selling or production of tobacco products and make
a strict rules
Correct the article-noun agreement
strict rules
a strict rule
show examples
 not to
smoke
 in public places or if
people
 still
continues
Change the verb form
continue
show examples
,
then
 they should be fined heavily. Smoking is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 major issue in
this
 world nowadays. In the recent survey, it has announced that 85% population in
this
 world smokes cigarettes on
their
Change the word
a
show examples
 daily basis and 58% of
them
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
dead
Replace the word
died
show examples
 because of
lungs
Fix the agreement mistake
lung
show examples
 and throat cancer.
People
 should understand the value of their lives and try not to
smoke
 and
also
 help others to get aware of it.
Submitted by Misha on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: