IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Problem Solution Essay • Nowadays more and more people have to compete with young people for the same jobs. - What problems does this cause? - What are the possible solutions?

#people #jobs
In today's world, most folks are giving the challenge for doing the same
jobs
 to the youngsters.well, the main reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
that is
 less number of
jobs
 and high competition in every field which makes it tough for everyone.
This
 problem is tackled by using appropriate ideas like
set
Wrong verb form
setting
show examples
age
 limits for some
jobs
 as well as
impose
Wrong verb form
imposing
show examples
 proper qualifications.
Firstly
, the community puts pressure on adults doing well for getting
good
Change the article
a good
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 by competing them on
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 vacancies, which show limited sets available in every field. Youth,
therefore
,
loose
Correct your spelling
lose
show examples
 hope for
jobs
as
Add the comma(s)
,as
show examples
 a result, they drop their studies between the semester.
For example
,
last
 month,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 announced
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
public
jobs
 which had limited sets around 100, but for
this
job
 number of
people
 applied after selected candidates, many of them lost their confidence and some of them tried suicide which I read in newspapers that cases made worst situations for society. Apart from it, the bunch of the crowed studies hard for participating for
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
 level of exams which may help them to get
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
 position with
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 package of salary.
This
 scenario makes
Add an article
the fight
show examples
fight
Fix the agreement mistake
fights
show examples
 between
people
 for getting
job
Add an article
a job
the job
show examples
 and sometimes by luck folks get
job
Add an article
a job
the job
show examples
 which will become a reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 failure for deserving candidates.
However
, the solution
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
 problem is imposing some rules to make
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
fair
job
 opportunities for young
people
 that's why
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
people
demond
Correct your spelling
demand
 set
a
Change the article
an
show examples
age
 limit for some
jobs
 that make relief for youngsters.
For example
, in some exams, the
age
 limit is needed because companies find that candidates who are active and fast in order of doing work, whereas, in elder
people
Add a comma
,people
show examples
 they have
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 reflexes
maybe
Correct your spelling
may be
show examples
due
Add the preposition
todue
show examples
 their
age
.
Moreover
, sometimes, companies require a specific qualification for
particular
Add an article
a particular
the particular
show examples
job
.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the high competition for getting
jobs
 create a barrier in many young
people
 life, It should be
handle
Wrong verb form
handled
show examples
 by making specific criteria to give a
Correct your spelling
fair
show examples
fare
Correct your spelling
fair
show examples
 chance for youngsters.
Submitted by grewalpt1249 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Personal fulfillment
  • Unfulfilling job
  • Mental health
  • Physical health
  • Financial stability
  • Job security
  • Societal norms
  • Career choices
  • Pursuing passion
  • Practicality
  • Personal growth
  • Skill development
  • Self-esteem
  • Social status
  • Work-life balance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: