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Band 4.5

Some people think children should have the freedom to make mistakes, while other people believe that adults should prevent children from making mistakes. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

#people #children #freedom #mistakes #adults
A certain
Correct the article-noun agreement
Certain
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 groups of individuals claim that young children should be given the liberty to attempt mistakes.
On the contrary
, some argued that adults must stop teenagers from doing bad things . In my perspective, I believe that kids should be given enough time to realise their mistakes. On the one hand, parents should stop their
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
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 from doing something wrong.
As a
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A
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 child 's mind is like a sponge and can easily absorb all bad habits quickly. It will later become a part of their lifestyle and discontinuing them become nearly impossible.
For instance
, students that started drinking and using drugs in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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childhood , later
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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become addicted to
it
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them
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. It will quite
impossible
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be impossible
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 to return to normal life.
On the other hand
, it is true that experience is a great teacher. School goers learn great lessons from the outcomes of dreadful incidents . They will become alert in the future to attempt that
next
timr
Correct your spelling
time
timer
. They will remember all lessons for
lifetime
Add an article
a lifetime
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. In the other words,
teenegers
Correct your spelling
teenagers
 might not
taking
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take
be taking
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Correct your spelling
advice
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the advices
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advices
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advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
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 and words
of
Change preposition
from
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 their parents seriously. Ultimately,
this
 is
a
Correct article usage
the
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 right way to guide them on
correct
Wrong verb form
correcting
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 them. In my view, parents should give their
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
children's
 enough knowledge so that they can easily differentiate between right and wrong actions. As
this
 can only come with experience . To conclude,
although
 a child's mind is really fragile and one can easily get addicted to
the
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apply
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drugs and alcohol .
However
,
only
Add an article
the only
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 thing which
make
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makes
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 them learn to not perform
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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again is experience.
Submitted by Manvir kaur bhatti on

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • freedom to make mistakes
  • critical thinking skills
  • lifelong learning
  • guided learning environment
  • resilience
  • independence
  • overprotective
  • dependency
  • problem-solving skills
  • confidence
  • negative consequences
  • learning process
  • personal growth
  • trial and error
  • balance safety and learning
  • development
  • support and guidance
  • empowerment
  • risk-taking
  • life lessons
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