IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

More and more people are using computers and electric devices to access information, so there is no need for printed books, magazines and newspaper. To what extent do you agree or disagree？

#people #computers #devices #access #information #books #magazines #newspaper #disagree？
Nowadays, there are several modes available in order to access information.
Although
 printed books, magazines and newspapers provide access to information, many people are of the opinion that they find using computers and electric devices much easier to get the same data. In
this
 essay, I will be stating my opinion that using gadgets is more flexible. There are two primary reasons for
this
.
To begin
 with, one of the important advantages of using a computer is that it helps individuals in accessing the content in a much faster way.
Moreover
, nowadays the present generation prefers carrying devices
such
 as mobile phones, laptops and other gadgets with them, rather than carrying materials
such
 as books and newspapers as they find these electronic devices very handy.
For instance
, a recent study done in India showed that there is an increasing need for the production of mobile phones as both the younger and the older generations are in need of convenient ways to access data.
Subsequently
, making it the more
prefered
Correct your spelling
preferred
 option.
Further
 and even more importantly, people find reading magazines and papers difficult.
Additionally
, it is
also
 very
time consuming
Add a hyphen
time-consuming
show examples
 for individuals who want to quickly read through some important topics they need.
For example
, in many ,countries most university students
while
 preparing for their
examination
Fix the agreement mistake
examinations
show examples
 use
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
electronic
device
Fix the agreement mistake
devices
show examples
 to study rather than
using
Verb problem
apply
show examples
textbooks and assignments.
As a result
 of which, the time is less consuming. By way of conclusion, I reaffirm my position that
although
 using hard copies has many advantages, many people prefer using electric gadgets as it is more convenient and
also
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 in saving time and energy.
Submitted by afreensaied on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are more clearly presented and that they completely respond to the prompt.
task achievement
The essay would benefit from a more thorough and focused response to the task prompt.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Digital revolution
  • Immediate access
  • Interactive content
  • Multimedia elements
  • Enriched learning experience
  • Environmental considerations
  • Deforestation
  • Pollution
  • Tactile experience
  • Cognitive understanding
  • Retention
  • Technological dependency
  • Power outages
  • Remote locations
  • Tangible form
What to do next:
Look at other essays: